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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22919167">on this night (in this light)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/doughnutwhore/pseuds/doughnutwhore'>doughnutwhore</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>CAT IS KARA'S EX GIRLFRIEND, F/F, Fake Dating, High School AU, but i miss supercat too hence this mess, not really enemies to lovers but kinda, slowburn, supercorp ending obviously</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 05:41:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>23,750</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22919167</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/doughnutwhore/pseuds/doughnutwhore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“the deal is off once you get Cat back. that is the end goal here, meaning do not, and i can’t stress this enough, do not fall in love with me Kara Danvers.”</p><p>alternatively: the HS au in which Lena and Kara pretend to date to make Kara's ex jealous but they end up falling for each other instead</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kara Danvers &amp; Cat Grant, Kara Danvers &amp; Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>325</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1315</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>had a quick 'to all the boys i've loved before' moment hence this mess</p><p>title from the 1975's fallingforyou</p><p>*work of fanfiction. no copyright infringement intended</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strike></strike>Lena has a mental list of impossible things she wishes would happen. </p><p>The first one, in bold and capital letters, would be gaining complete and utter freedom from her adoptive mother. Ridiculously unattainable that one but Lena can’t stop herself from dreaming. </p><p>Next to that would probably be meeting her real mother. She died when Lena was younger, and Lena doesn’t have a photograph to remember her by. Can’t even conjure up an image or a memory to satisfy her idle daydreams. Again, unobtainable. </p><p>The third one would be finally leaving their damned mansion and living by herself. As far away as possible as she can get. Not so hopeless as the rest. She simply has to wait a few more years before that wish can be fulfilled. The thought that she has to when patience isn’t her strongest suit is the only thing that makes it seem impossible. It isn’t really. </p><p>Now Lena is sure that she still has a few more bullets on that mental note of hers, but whatever those items are she’s sure as hell that they don’t include this. </p><p>She stares up at one Kara Danvers from her place on the picnic table. She’d been reading <em> War and Peace </em>when the excitable girl had rushed into her space, spouting about how her girlfriend had broken up with her and how she desperately wants her back. Now Lena doesn’t give a single shit about that -because she isn’t particularly close to Kara Danvers, doesn’t even think that they’re friends because the only time they’ve ever mingled is when they were chosen as partners on a project last year -but then Kara says something that makes her ears perk and her head snap up from the book that she had been focusing on. </p><p>Surely she’s mistaken, right? She must have misheard, because for a second there she thought that Kara had suggested…</p><p>“...that you pretend to be my girlfriend so we can make her jealous.”</p><p>Out of all of the impossible, preposterous, godawfully absurd things to happen to her. The universe must be having a laugh.</p><p>“You’re kidding, right?”</p><p>Kara shakes her head, looks so steadily determined to impose her plan and god, what a massive idiot.</p><p>“I’m not kidding. Not in the least.”</p><p>Alright. Now Kara has her full attention. She dog ears the page on her book, closes it shut and slides it down on the table in front of her. Steepling her hands, she gives Kara her best unimpressed look because really, what the fuck?</p><p>“You honestly believe that Catherine Grant would fall for that trick?”</p><p>“Yes,” and she looks so stupidly sure of herself that Lena can’t help but ask why. “Because Cat is the jealous type, and she’s jealous of you. I don’t know why that is but she is.”</p><p>And Kara has the audacity to grin, that full dumb grin that has everyone in school -save for Lena -swooning over her, as if she’s trying to win the girl over with it. Lena almost laughs. </p><p>“And what makes you think that I’ll help you? What could possibly be my incentive?”</p><p>Kara’s grin turns wicked now, and Lena’s never imagined that the girl could be this devious until she opens her mouth and answers, “Because I can help you get your mom off your back.”</p><p>That throws Lena in for a loop. It’s not possible. Lillian likes controlling her life after all. It’s her full-time job. But Kara looks so damn certain that her idiotic plan is going to work so Lena does the math. </p><p>Lillian has always liked Kara. It’s laughable and completely nonsensical but she does. Ever since they were children, Lillian’s always had a soft spot for the younger Danvers girl. Says she has potential. That she would be successful in whatever field she chooses to venture in the future. Not to mention the fact that Lillian actually likes Kara’s family. Respects them even -which is why Lillian has been trying to push her towards the other girl since she came out as a lesbian. A fact that Kara is privy to because Lillian can be horribly vocal about it when she wants to be.</p><p>Lena scowls. So Kara has a point.</p><p>“Come on, Lena. Please?”</p><p>“You can ask literally anyone else. Perhaps someone who actually likes you.”</p><p>Kara sits down. “That’s exactly why I came to you. I know for a fact that you don’t like me that way which makes this deal easier for the both of us. I can’t ask someone who has a crush on me. I might hurt their feelings.”</p><p>“How chivalrous,” Lena scoffs. “But yes, I do see the point.”</p><p>“So you’ll do it?” Kara asks, bright and hopeful and so so stupid. </p><p>Lena sighs. She should say no. It’s a foolish plan. One that would be a complete and utter waste of time. But Kara is looking at her with such wide and pleading eyes, desperate for her to say yes. Desperate for her to help win Cat back. And okay, it would be great if she could get Lillian off her case, and Kara isn’t the worst person on the planet to be fake dating…</p><p>Another sigh. This one heavier than the last.</p><p>“Fine. But,” Lena raises a hand, quickly interrupting Kara’s inevitable victory dance, “we need to establish some ground rules.”</p><p>“Of course, of course.”</p><p> </p><p><b>No PDA</b> <em> , </em>is what Lena writes first on the piece of paper. She underlines it twice for emphasis. </p><p>Kara rolls her eyes. “How are we supposed to make it believable if we don’t show affection?”</p><p>“Must we?”</p><p>“Lena we need to sell this. Cat isn’t an idiot.”</p><p>“Fine,” Lena huffs in annoyance, scribbling a few clauses below the underlined rule. “Holding hands is tolerable. Embraces are acceptable as well but only when absolutely necessary. No kisses.”</p><p>That makes Kara chuckle. “Better. Alright what’s the second rule?”</p><p><b>Kara Danvers must maintain a 3.7 grade point average in all subjects</b> </p><p>Kara splutters. “What does that have to do with anything?”</p><p>“I’m running for valedictorian, Kara. I refuse to date someone who can’t keep up with my grades,” Lena pointedly replies. “That and the fact that it’ll earn you more points with my mother.”</p><p>“Fine. Okay, I guess you have a point,” Kara relents. A thoughtful look flashes across her eyes before she takes the paper from the other girl. “Let me have that.”</p><p><b>Lena Luthor must attend all of Kara Danvers’ basketball games</b> is what the blonde girl writes next. </p><p>“I don’t think that needs to be mandatory,” Lena complains. </p><p>“Oh it absolutely does. You’re my girlfriend. You’re supposed to be in every game acting as my personal cheerleader.”</p><p>“If you think that I would dress up in a blue and red garb with a pompom in each hand then you’re sorely mistaken.”</p><p>“No need for the pompoms, darling,” Kara cheekily says, and oh there’s that dumb grin again. Lena grumbles, reaching for the paper and hastily writing</p><p>
  <b>No terms of endearment</b>
</p><p>Kara pouts. “Not even baby?”</p><p>A pointed glare. “No. It’s Lena and Kara. Take it or leave it.”</p><p>“Fine. What’s next?”</p><p>
  <b>No one can know about the arrangement</b>
</p><p>Lena, sensing that Kara has no arguments with the rule, moves on to write the next.</p><p>
  <b>Kara Danvers must attend all Luthor-related events as Lena’s date</b>
</p><p>“Oh I’m down with that.” Kara says, a little too happy about the rule. “And to make things fair...”</p><p>She takes the paper and writes</p><p>
  <b>Lena Luthor must attend ALL events as Kara’s date</b>
</p><p>“What? Like dances?” Lena asks mortified.</p><p>“Yup. Parties too.”</p><p>“No. Absolutely not.”</p><p>Lena makes a grab for the paper but Kara is fast, snatching it away before Lena’s hands can land on the table. </p><p>“You’re pushing it, Kara,” Lena warns.</p><p>“Okay, okay. Jeez, so grumpy,” Kara laughs. “You’re lucky I like you more when you’re mean.”</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“Nothing. Alright,” Kara says, putting the paper down and writing a symbol to bracket the two rules. She scribbles a note. A clause of some sorts. “There.”</p><p>
  <b>Each person will attend the same number of events</b>
</p><p>“If you make me attend a thing, then I’ll make you attend one too. That sound fair?”</p><p>Lena rolls her eyes. “Yes.”</p><p>“Okay. Anything else?”</p><p>“Give me that.”</p><p>
  <b>Each person can add more to this contract if and only if the other agrees</b>
</p><p>“And last but certainly the most important,” Lena starts</p><p>
  <b>NO ATTACHMENTS</b>
</p><p>“The deal is off once you get Cat back. That is the end goal here, meaning do not, and I can’t stress this enough, <em> do not </em>fall in love with me Kara Danvers.”</p><p>Kara laughs, honest to god laughs, as if it’s the most hilarious and unimaginable thing in the universe. Lena doesn’t take offense, although she does feel her chest tighten a little at the display.</p><p>“Of course. We’re doing this to win Cat back. Make her jealous. I’m not going to fall in love with you, Lena. I promise. But you have to promise not to fall in love with me too.”</p><p>Now it’s Lena’s turn to laugh. “That’s absurd.”</p><p>“Which means that it’ll be easy for you to swear on it.”</p><p>“Fine. I promise not to fall in love with you, Kara Danvers. Now, let’s both sign the paper to make it a binding agreement.”</p><p> </p><p>And because Lena Luthor is Lena Luthor, they make up a story. Of how they started dating, when it all began, and who initiated their very real relationship. </p><p>Kara and Cat had broken up only two weeks prior which in Lena’s book means that it’s much too early for Kara to jump into a new relationship. So she suggests that they take things slow. Make a show of heading home together after classes, or walking together in the halls. Anything to suggest that Kara is clinging to Lena for support. </p><p>“It’ll make this more believable,” Lena explains.</p><p>“For someone who didn’t want this in the first place, you’re awfully invested.”</p><p>Lena glares at the other girl. “I never do anything half-baked.”</p><p>“Of course,” Kara says, smiling smugly like the idiot that she is. “So we’ll start on Monday, yeah? I’ll pick you up at the mansion.”</p><p>“In that contraption of yours?” Lena asks, raising a brow and tilting her head to the side of the park where Kara’s beetle is parked. “Is it even safe?”</p><p>“Hey, no bullying the bug,” Kara admonishes. “That’s my baby right there.”</p><p>Lena rolls her eyes. A fonder gesture this time. “Whatever. Pick me up at 7. Don’t be late.”</p><p>“I won’t.”</p><p>Lena watches as Kara rises from her seat in front of her. There’s a soft smile on her face that Lena finds she can tolerate. Kara isn’t so bad. She’s just...a little too sunny for Lena’s taste. </p><p>“Hey. Thanks again for doing this. I mean, I know that we haven’t done anything yet, but thank you for agreeing. I-I really want Cat back, and I’ve run out of ideas. I know that this seems like a stupid plan to you, and maybe it is. Maybe it won’t help fix things but I have to try, you know?” Kara says, more genuine than Lena’s ever seen her. </p><p>It tugs at Lena’s chest, makes her heart stumble on itself. What the hell? She swallows the lump on her throat.</p><p>“You’re welcome,” is the only thing that she can think of to say.</p><p>Kara nods once before leaving Lena, walking back to the side of the road to where her car is parked. </p><p>Lena watches as Kara drives away, until her car disappears into the horizon, until she’s alone again on the little picnic table in the park with her book and only herself and a single thought reverberating in her head. Looking at the empty spot in front of her, Lena thinks:</p><p>The plan <em> is </em>stupid, but maybe having someone there won’t be so bad. Even if it’s only pretend.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lena walks as briskly as she can down the stairs. Lillian hates it when she runs inside the house but she has to rush if she doesn’t want Lex spotting the hideous yellow beetle waiting for her on the driveway. </p><p>She’s almost to the door when Kara stupid idiot Danvers decides to honk her horn. Well, there goes her chance of being unnoticed. </p><p>The move instantly catches the attention of her older brother who runs from one of the rooms in the mansion towards the foyer. The intrigued expression on Lex’s face instantly turns into a taunting one when he sees the yellow car. Of course he knows who it belongs to. There’s only one person in the entirety of town who owns a godawful yellow beetle.</p><p>“Kara Danvers? Really, sis? You’re ditching a ride with me in the Rover for Kara Danvers’ yellow bug?” </p><p>“Oh shut up Lex,” she chastises but the teasing grin on his face doesn’t leave. In fact it stretches even more when she reaches for the front door. </p><p>“You’re really going with her, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Yes, I am. Goodbye Lex. Tell mother that I’ve left and that I won’t be riding home with you this afternoon.”</p><p>She hears him snicker before she finally exits the mansion, makes her way down the porch and out onto the driveway where Kara is waiting for her. </p><p>Reaching the car, Lena hesitates to get in and Kara rolls her eyes at the flagrant trepidation.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“What? I’m being cautious,” Lena huffs.</p><p>“It’s perfectly safe. I promise.”</p><p>“But is it clean?”</p><p>That earns her a pointed glare. Rolling her eyes, she opens the door and gingerly slides in. It’s surprisingly clean inside. A fact that shouldn’t have been a  surprise to her because Kara Danvers had been awarded with the neatest student ribbon when they were in second grade. She supposes that nothing has changed now despite Kara being in the basketball team. </p><p>“What? Were you expecting dirty shoes and sweaty jerseys in the back?” Kara chuckles and Lena hates that Kara has figured her out. No sense in denying it then. </p><p>“Yes. Throw in some smelly socks and whatever disgusting else as well,” Lena says, turning her head to face Kara. The lack of bite makes Kara stick her tongue out in response. What a child.</p><p>“If you’re going to fake date me then you should know that I’m not the slob that you think that I am.”</p><p>“Good to know because I would never date anyone unhygienic,” Lena says.</p><p>Kara doesn’t say anything, merely grins as she starts the engine and speeds off into the highway. </p><p>She isn’t a terrible driver is what Lena notices. Turns with caution and uses her signals. Not that Lena would ever tell her. Afraid that the complement might go straight to the blonde jock’s head. </p><p>They drive in relative silence for a while, until a song comes on the radio that has Kara suddenly so excited. </p><p>“Oh, oh, I like this one. I sang this to Cat on one of our dates,” she happily shares.</p><p>Of course, Cat Grant. The reason behind all of this. </p><p>Lena keeps her eyes on the side window, stares at the houses and the trees that they pass by. And then Kara starts singing and Lena finds herself completely helpless. </p><p>Kara’s voice isn’t terrible either. In fact Lena would go as far as saying that it’s decent. Nice, even. </p><p>“Another fun fact about me,” is what Kara says when she catches Lena looking. “I charmed the pants off Cat when I first sang to her.”</p><p>“Tell me, Kara. Why did you and Cat break up again? You didn’t really go into the specifics last Saturday when you disrupted my peaceful afternoon.”</p><p>Kara’s whole face falls. “Well… She said that it would be better that way since she’s graduating this year. And Metropolis University is on the other side of the country.”</p><p>“There are these things called planes.”</p><p>“That’s what I told her, but she said that she can’t afford to be distracted. Metropolis is her dream, you know? It’s always been her goal and I fully support that. I just wish she’d see that we can make it work.”</p><p> </p><p>NCHS comes into view on the windshield. Its white and gray buildings standing proudly in the middle of a vast lot, blue and red drop down banners adorning the front. Go Supers! they say in bold and capital letters.</p><p>The tintless glass of the beetle gives her a clear view of the students milling about in the parking lot, equally giving the students outside a clear view of her in Kara’s passenger seat. Lena’s eyes zero in on a short blonde girl with a lithe form. Her jaw clenched and her face settled into a deep scowl. </p><p>Cat Grant. </p><p>Lena slides out of the car as soon as Kara cuts off the engine. </p><p>Predictably, everyone starts looking at them. Probably wondering what Kara Danvers is doing driving to school with Lena Luthor of all people. And just two weeks after she and Cat had broken up. </p><p>She doesn’t like the attention but she’s never cared about anyone else’s opinion before anyway. She’s about to walk towards the entrance when Kara catches her wrist. Lena stiffens, bites down her tongue to keep herself from pulling her hand back. Especially since Cat is just a few meters away from them. </p><p>“You need to wait for me. We’re making this believable right?” Kara says, gently letting go of Lena’s wrist. </p><p>“Right. I knew that,” she says, releasing the breath that she didn’t know she was holding. “Cat is staring at us, by the way.” </p><p>“I know. She looks pissed,” Kara adds a little giddily. </p><p>“Well don’t you look ecstatic.”</p><p>An eye roll. “Duh. We’re getting the reception that we want.”</p><p>“Correction. That <em> you </em>want. You haven’t done anything for me yet.”</p><p>Another eye roll. </p><p>The pair walk side by side towards the main entrance of the school, only separating once Lena sees her best friends waiting for her by her locker. After quick instructions of meeting at lunch, Lena walks away from the blonde girl and strolls towards the two cheerleaders gaping at her. </p><p>“You’re rebounding for Kara Danvers?” is what one of her friends asks. A ridiculous notion. Lena Luthor would never be someone’s rebound. </p><p>“That’s absurd, Sam,” she says, opening her locker and slipping her things inside. Only grabbing her necessities for the first and second period. </p><p>“Then what were you doing riding to school with her?”</p><p>“She offered me a ride and I agreed.” Sam looks at her suspiciously. Obviously Lena needs to polish her story. “She disrupted my Saturday afternoon with her woes about Cat Grant and I thought that the humane thing to do was to console her. So I did. And then she offered me a ride.”</p><p>“You comforted her?” Her other friend, Andrea, asks incredulously. “That doesn’t seem like something that you would do.”</p><p>“She was about to break down in front of me Andrea. I’m not entirely a monster.” </p><p>The last notebook that she needs is in her arm now. Slamming the locker shut, the three girls fall into place and begin to walk towards their respective rooms. </p><p>Andrea and Lena have English together. Sam has Math. </p><p>“Is this going to be a regular thing? You and Kara arriving together? Because people are going to talk,” Andrea says.</p><p>“I know. But you also both know that I don’t care about what other people say.”</p><p>“So it is going to be a thing, then?”</p><p>“It might be,” is the only thing that Lena tells them.</p><p> </p><p>The trio are in their usual spot at lunch when Kara Danvers comes bounding towards them, fresh-faced and hair bouncing like the world is her photoshoot. Lena grimaces at the sigh that she hears from Sam’s mouth. Unfortunately even her friend isn’t immune to the younger Danvers’ charm.</p><p>“Hey,” Kara says with a sunny smile. </p><p>“Hi.”</p><p>“Uh, can I borrow you for a second?” </p><p>Lena looks at her friends who both nod instantly at the question. She stands up from her seat and circles the table, moving in sync with Kara until they reach an empty spot in the cafeteria. </p><p>“Having second thoughts?” Kara asks in a low voice, her smile never leaving her face. </p><p>“Not really.”</p><p>“Good because Cat looks like she might throw her lunch at someone.”</p><p>True to her word, Cat does look like she might throw her salad at someone. Her face is in a scowl, brows drawn together and a look so fierce she would have burned them if they were lasers.</p><p>“Good for you,” Lena says when her eyes drift back to the blonde in front of her.</p><p>“And uh, well, I wanted to thank you again and ask if there’s anything that you would want me to do for you? You know, just to make all of this a little fairer.”</p><p>That sparks a genuine interest from Lena. Looking up, Lena thinks long and hard of what she might cash out from their little agreement. Only a single thought comes to mind. One that makes her indescribably excited.</p><p>“There’s this gallery opening Thursday night that I want to go to. Obviously my Mother would never let me. She thinks that art is useless. She might change her mind however, if you be the one to ask her about it.”</p><p>“You want me to ask your mom if you could go to an art exhibit?”</p><p>“I want you to ask her to let me come <em> with you </em> to an art exhibit. Not that you’re actually coming of course but she has to think that we’re going together.”</p><p>“Ahh, of course,” Kara nods, finally understanding the situation. “Guess that means I’m driving you home later so I can ask your mom?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Okay. So um… I’m gonna go now, cause my sister is looking at me weird,” Kara says, eyes flickering to a tall girl with reddish brown hair. The adoptive sister, Lena presumes. </p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>“Meet you at the parking lot later,” Kara yells as she’s jogging away, causing most of the students surrounding them to hear. Great. Of course.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lena isn’t early. Kara is obviously late. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s almost four in the afternoon and Lena has been waiting in the parking lot for fifteen minutes. She grits her teeth, feels her patience wearing thin. She’s going to have to talk to the other girl about punctuality because Lena </span>
  <em>
    <span>hates </span>
  </em>
  <span>waiting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With an annoyed huff, Lena decides to look for Kara, her first stop being the outdoor basketball court. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s only been to this side of the school once or twice, when she’s waiting for Andrea or Sam or both girls to finish cheerleading practice. She never comes alone. Never stays without her friends because athletics is not on her skillset. Unless of course it’s polo or fencing or archery. Not that the public school system offers those kinds of activities. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Strolling towards the court, Lena can already hear the telltale signs of a basketball match. The ball bouncing on the pavement. The grunts from the players’ exertion. And a shout of ‘foul’ that sounds all too familiar. Sure enough when Lena reaches the court she sees Kara Danvers holding the ball in her hands, some of her friends playing with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s when she’s near the girl that she clears her throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lena, hey,” Kara acknowledges, dropping the ball and jogging towards her. She turns her head for a second, signals time-out with her hands before she’s facing Lena again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You smell disgusting. Please don’t tell me you’re meeting my mother like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That makes Kara roll her eyes. “I have spare clothes in the car.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Are we leaving soon? You made me wait fifteen minutes in the parking lot,” Lena says, tone barely concealing her annoyance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry, I didn’t think we’d be leaving as soon as we were dismissed. Um, if you could just let me finish the game?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if Lena has a choice. “Fine,” she grumbles. “But make it quick. And make sure that you win. I won’t be dating someone who loses to Winn Schott of all people.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara lets out a laugh, white teeth flashing as she throws her head back to expose the lengthy column of her neck. Lena most absolutely doesn’t stare at the skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry. You’re dating the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then she’s jogging back towards the court, showing off her moves that has Lena rolling her eyes but smiling all the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara Danvers is a whole idiot, but she does look good in her element. Even Lena can say as much. There’s hidden strength in her arms when she shoots, power running through her legs when she moves. She’s quick and strategic, and even though Lena knows nothing about basketball she can tell that Kara’s amazing at it. That or Winn and James are horrible at the game which makes it look like a breeze for the blonde girl and her partner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s another fifteen minutes that Kara’s jogging towards her on the benches. There’s a smile on her face from beating her opponents. She doesn’t look smug but there’s a hint of pride on her face that Lena easily recognizes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I do good?” Is what she says, a smirk in place and her tone teasing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did...adequate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An eye roll. “Come on. I’m dying to see your mom,” she says in a voice that’s loud enough for the others to hear. And sure enough when Lena moves to look at the three boys they’re all looking at them with alarmed expressions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena mutters, “Did you do that on purpose?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me? Purposefully let my friends know that I’m driving you home to meet Lillian Luthor? You bet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kara is at the back of the bug, rifling through a gym bag for the spare clothes that she had mentioned and Lena is trying very hard not to stare at the girl clad in only a sports bra and a pair of boxers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now she knows that Kara is fit. She’s a goddamn jock after all, but Lena didn’t expect </span>
  <em>
    <span>this. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Who the hell has abs like that? She looks like a stupid ivory statue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like what you’re seeing?” The girl has the audacity to tease. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena rolls her eyes, makes sure that it doesn’t land on the rearview mirror this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Kara is snickering like she just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>the effect that she has on people. What an idiot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay I’m decent,” Kara says after a while. She slips out of the backseat and into the driver’s, instantly catching Lena eyes because okay, yes she does look decent. She’s wearing a pair of joggers this time, grey ones, and a plain white shirt. Lena doesn’t comment on it. Not even the fact that Kara smells like baby powder and vanilla cologne. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The drive to the mansion doesn’t take long and soon enough they’re parking on the driveway. Lena can see Lillian’s form behind one of the french windows from where she’s sitting on the bug and </span>
  <em>
    <span>god </span>
  </em>
  <span>her heart starts hammering. What if Lillian doesn’t approve? What if she likes Kara but only as a friend for her daughter, not as a partner even if it’s only a pretense? What if she doesn’t let Lena out on Thursday? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara, sensing her inner turmoil, reaches out her hand and places it on top of Lena’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena stiffens momentarily but then Kara’s thumb is circling the bone on her wrist, effectively calming her. It’s a new sensation for Lena. A good one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey. Calm down. We’ll be okay. Your mom likes me, remember? And if she doesn’t, well then I’ll make her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The confidence makes her chuckle. Clearly this girl doesn’t know her mother, but if she’s willing to try then so will Lena. Especially if it means earning a little freedom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara cuts off the engine, quickly getting out of her seat to open Lena’s door for her. Lena rolls her eyes at the chivalry but lets it slide. Lillian is waiting for them and Lena can sense it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure enough Lillian is standing right by the entrance when Lena opens the door. There’s an expression on her face that Lena doesn’t often see. One of actual openness and warmth. She doesn’t know how to best describe it other than with the word </span>
  <em>
    <span>weird.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mother,” Lena greets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good evening Mrs. Luthor. I’m sorry for the intrusion,” Kara says, voice dripping with actual sincerity that Lena has to bite her tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No need to apologize Kara. You know that you’re always welcome in our home. Are you and Lena paired for another project?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No ma’am. I’m just taking her home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That earns a raise of brows. “How delightful. I suppose you drove her to school this morning as well? Lex mentioned a friend picking Lena up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that was me.” A sheepish grin meant to look adorable. Kara clearly knows how to play her cards to her advantage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm. And will you be picking her up again tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time Kara looks at Lena, eyes shimmering with so much intent that Lena has to swallow the forming lump in her throat. What the actual fuck is happening?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” and then she’s clearing her throat. “Actually Mrs. Luthor, I also wanted to ask permission from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena’s hand begins to shake at her mother’s inquiring tone. This is it. This is the moment where they fail. This is the moment that Lillian imposes her hold on Lena’s freedom yet again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was wondering if I could take Lena out this Thursday to an art gallery? It sounds like an awful waste of time, I know, but I’ve always believed in making connections to different kinds of industries, and an art exhibit sounds like a place for people with good taste and respectable social standing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words flow out of Kara’s mouth like a breeze and it sounds so credible that even Lena is finding herself believing the alibi. There’s a smile on the other girl’s face, one that Lillian slowly but surely begins to mirror and Lena has to reel in her astonishment. Seriously? That worked?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That does sound quite marvelous, although I have to say that I still have my reservations about the subject,” Lillian says with a curl of her lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you Mrs. Luthor, and I understand your reservations completely. My mother says the same. We are a family of scientists after all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That sparks a genuine chuckle from the older woman. “Of course.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, well, I guess I better go now. I just wanted to make sure that Lena got home safe.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena, having been an audience all this time, is instantly shaken by the mention of her name. She offers Kara a genuine smile. A sign of gratitude for what had just transpired. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem. Pick you up tomorrow? Same time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then the blonde girl is waving goodbye to both her and the mother, stepping down the front porch and retreating to her car in the driveway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hear Kara is taking you out on a date this Thursday,” Lex teases. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena gives him a pointed glare but the smug look on his face never wavers. She huffs, “Yes she is taking me out. No it’s not a date.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course because my baby sister would never agree to becoming someone’s rebound.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An eye roll. “Obviously.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So where is she taking you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To the art exhibit downtown.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That makes Lex’s brows shoot up in surprise. “And Mother agreed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Lena smiles. A smug one of her own. She’s sitting on one of the stools in the home library, studying for a subject she’s certain would have a pop quiz the following day. Pushing aside her materials for a moment, Lena props her elbow on the table, rests her chin on her palm when she asks, “You know I never understood why Mother likes Kara so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lex grabs a stool of his own. “She’s brilliant, that girl. Excels in academics, sports, extra curriculars,” he lists off and Lena briefly wonders why he knows so much about the girl. “She’s part of the school council too. Volunteers. She has connections. Not to mention that she comes from a reputable family. Her mother is a doctor slash researcher. Her father is a scientist. Her sister is excellent at biology from what I hear. On her way to becoming a scientist herself. Nevermind the fact that she’s adopted. Both nature and nurture have done her well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Lena already knows all of those things. And if those are the only reasons then surely her Mother would’ve paired her off with Andrea or Samantha as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No Lillian definitely has another motive. One that Lena can wait to discover. Whatever it is isn’t relevant right now. What matters is that Kara’s plan works and Lena has something to gain.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lena detests Wednesday. Hates it. Absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>abhors </span>
  </em>
  <span>it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, okay, you look like you’re seconds away from screaming bloody murder. What’s going on?” Kara asks as Lena slides into the passenger seat of the bug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a glare in her face that would usually send someone up and running but Kara’s looking at her with actual curiosity, unfazed by the angry fire in her eyes and the fact that she looks like she could stab someone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena huffs. “I hate Wednesdays.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And why is that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“P.E.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena’s tone is serious. Her face proves that. But Kara starts laughing beside her like the idiot that she is as if Lena’s dilemma isn’t as consequential as she’s making it out to be. She earns a pointed glare for that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait. Seriously?” Kara asks in between chuckles. “You really hate P.E. that much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Really. I hate it. Not all of us are good at sports, Kara.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your form says otherwise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And oh, Lena likes the way that Kara stammers. Flushes because she just got caught saying something she shouldn’t have said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I mean that your form… Uh, you’re in shape? So it looks like y-you could be sporty.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh Lena is going to thoroughly enjoy this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you know this because? Have you been staring at me, Kara Danvers?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, n-no? I notice, okay? I’m pretty observant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’ve been observing my… What was it that you said? My form?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena watches as a blush creeps up from Kara’s neck, turning her a shade darker from the collar up. The blonde isn’t saying anything now, suddenly intent on turning the engine and driving as quietly as she can. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, the smug smirk that she has immediately drops into a grimace when Kara parks the bug in front of the main entrance. No matter how much she enjoyed teasing Kara, Lena still has that damned subject to conquer. Kara, noticing Lena’s sour mood, pokes her on the arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can help,” she offers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“P.E.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena raises a skeptical brow. “How?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I’m an athlete,” she says, half a smirk playing on her lips. The breezy move earns an eye roll. “I can teach you some moves.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have basketball for midterms.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The statement deepens Lena’s grimace. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>sucks </span>
  </em>
  <span>at basketball. “Fuck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you. I have moves. I can teach you. Consider that another form of payment for what you’re doing for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, if she puts it that way. “Fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool,” Kara says, turning the engine off and sliding out of the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another reason to dislike Wednesdays: Lena has Biology with Cat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She forgot about that detail when she initially agreed to Kara’s plan. Fuck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fortunately, Cat sits by the door in front of the class. Far away from Lena’s own seat in the corner of the room. Unfortunately, that means Lena has to pass by the blonde girl on her way to her chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena inwardly groans. Cat is known as the queen of all gossip in their school, her dramatic flare unmatched by anyone in the entire NCHS. And although Lena has never been afraid of the other girl, she highly doubts that her mother would appreciate any kind of public trouble that she gets into. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steeling herself with a firm reminder that she’s Lena motherfucking Luthor, she strides inside of the biology classroom and makes her way towards her seat. Of course Cat is already standing by hers, one hand on her hip while the other hand rests firm on the armchair. There’s a snarl on her face that reminds Lena just how vicious the head cheerleader can be. She may be small and thin with a domesticated animal’s name, but she can still very much pounce and tear you to shreds if she decides that she wants to. And okay, Lena knows that she’s on the very top of that hit list now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Luthor,” Cat says, the snarl replaced by a menacing smirk. “I hear you’ve taken my leftovers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wow, bitch. Lena rolls her eyes. “Taken? That doesn’t sound right. Didn’t you know? She offered herself to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cat’s growl is back now. “And you couldn’t resist?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena takes a step forward, raises her chin and puts on the most victorious look that she can muster. “Not when she tastes so </span>
  <em>
    <span>delicious.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t let Cat say another word, breezes through her and walks towards her seat like the whole face off was nothing. It’s only when she’s already seated that her words begin to register in her brain. The implication that she had so smugly given the other girl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tastes. Delicious. Those are the words that she had used. Shit. Fuck. Okay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara hears about it because of course she does. She’s wide-eyed and incredulous when she walks into Lena’s space after second period, pinning the other girl on the lockers with one arm braced on the side of her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you just imply that we were having sex?” Kara whispers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did not. Although some people may have taken it that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell happened to ‘it’s too early for you to be dating anyone because it’s only been two weeks since you broke up with Cat’?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena huffs. Apparently Kara only knows one side of the story. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your ex girlfriend attacked me, Kara. What was I supposed to do? Not defend myself?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara groans, raising her other hand to run it down her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Okay. I get it. And I’m sorry that Cat was mean to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How you were able to love her is beyond me,” Lena mutters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s kind once you get to know her, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She says it in such a soft voice, reverence obvious in the glow of her blue eyes, and Lena finds herself wishing that someone would talk like that about her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, she’s never going to be nice to me, Kara. I’m fake dating her ex girlfriend. One that I’m pretty certain she’s still in love with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. So you’re welcome. I’ve brought that emotion out of her. Hopefully it won’t take too long until she cracks and takes you back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Kara breathes. “Thanks,” and then she’s smiling and leaving and Lena certainly does not release the breath that she didn’t know she was holding. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The dreaded subject finally comes at two. Lena has already changed from her designer outfit and into her drab blue jogging pants and matching white P.E. tshirt. The NCHS logo on the left breast side of the tee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She makes her way out of the changing rooms towards the main gymnasium, finds her classmates already bouncing basketballs around. She groans. This is going to be hell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s in a corner, desperately trying to handle the drills -and looking like a massive idiot by the way- when the double doors open to reveal one Kara Danvers in all of her glory. Blue and red jersey on and her hair in a ponytail. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her classmates begin whispering amongst themselves. Probably talking about why Kara is present when she has another class she has to be in. All eyes turn to Lena. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Miss Danvers,” Mr. Jones, the P.E. teacher and Kara’s coach, calls out. “Thank you for joining us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Glad to be here,” Kara grins, that charming flash of pearly white teeth that has no effect on Lena whatsoever. </span>
</p><p><span>Apparently Mr. Jones had invited Kara to their class to show them the basic skills in basketball. Now Lena has seen Kara play before. She’s not a big fan of the sport but she’s attended a few games to support her cheerleader best friends. And from what she’s seen during the previous games, even the casual one she played the day before, Lena can most confidently say that Kara is</span> <span>a talented player. Watching her now however, pushes her adjective from talented to astounding. </span></p><p>
  <span>The blonde girl handles the ball so well, makes it look so easy the way that she moves one ball from one hand to the other whilst running around the court. Lena will never admit it but she is mesmerized. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you get all that?” Kara asks her once Mr. Jones leaves them all to their own devices. They’re supposed to use this time to practice for next week’s quiz. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Show me something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Determined, Lena dribbles the ball before throwing it in her direction in an overhead pass. The move makes Kara smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have a fast learner over here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One of my many many talents,” Lena smirks, actually enjoying her damn time. Who would’ve thought?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you shoot it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, well, I don’t think that I’m up to that level yet. I’d rather not embarrass myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An eye roll. Kara stops dribbling the ball, holds it in one hand as she ambles towards Lena. She takes her by the wrist and pulls her towards the free throw line. Everyone around them stares. Kara should be helping everyone. Not just her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll teach you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t give Lena the chance to disagree. In one swift move Kara is positioning herself behind Lena. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” Lena hisses through gritted teeth. Kara is giving her the ball, sliding her hands on Lena’s arm to arrange them into a shooting position. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena flinches at the initial contact, is about to argue when Kara whispers, “Don’t fight me now. People are watching.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She says the last words in a low voice and Lena, god help her, forces herself not to shudder. She stamps it down and reels everything in, holds her breath because godfuckingdammit Kara’s breath is tickling the base of her neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is clearly a violation of their contract. No PDA. That’s the first rule. Except if Lena thinks about it, Kara is just teaching her how to shoot a goddamn basketball. There’s no display of affection anywhere. It’s just her stupid heart hammering inside of her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fine, Lena huffs. Whatever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lets Kara maneuver her. Lets her move her until she’s being told to shoot the ball. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Three…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena bends her knees.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Two…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena extends her arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The swooshing of the net immediately registers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zero…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The double doors of the gym open and in strides Cat Grant with her army of cheerleaders. She stops when she sees Kara pressed close against Lena’s back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Score,” Kara whispers and Lena doesn’t have to look to know that she’s looking at the other blonde. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The whole thing had been planned. She doesn’t know how Kara had timed it but she had done it perfectly. And god the look on Cat’s face is definitely one for the books. She looks like she’s about to strangle someone with her dainty little hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well played, Danvers,” Lena mumbles, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. “I don’t know how you managed to pull that off but it’s actually quite impressive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you I had moves,” is the answer that she gets. That and a wink that doesn’t make her stomach spin whatsoever.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the first time in many months, Lena is genuinely excited. Finally she gets to attend an event that she wants to. Not something that she needs to or is something that had been imposed upon her. Something that she gets to enjoy for herself. </p><p>“You look quite lovely dear,” her mother compliments when she’s walking down the stairs. She’s wearing a simple black dress, one that hugs her in all of the right places but still manages to make her look modest. The heels on her feet are Christian Louboutins, a birthday gift from Lex. </p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“Kara is waiting in the parlor.”</p><p>Her eyes widen for a brief second, the only sign of her surprise. Thankfully, Lillian doesn’t notice. Kara isn’t supposed to be picking her up. She isn’t supposed to come along. Lena specifically told her not to. But of course Kara Danvers is an idiot who prefers not to follow simple instructions. </p><p>Lillian ushers her to the room where Kara is waiting, sitting on a mid-century leatherback chair and chatting with Lex like they’re old friends. When she walks in, Kara’s head snaps up. </p><p>The girl is looking at her with such an awestruck expression that Lena has to refrain from rolling her eyes. Kara can be such a great actress when she wants to be. </p><p>It’s when Kara finally stands up to acknowledge her presence that Lena notices the other girl’s outfit. Button down silk blouse tucked neatly in black pants. A pair of harvard loafers. </p><p>She actually looks...nice.</p><p>“You look beautiful,” is what comes out of Kara’s mouth and no, it does not make Lena smile. </p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“Thank you again for letting Lena come with me, Mrs. Luthor. I’ll have her back by ten,” Kara says when she turns her attention to the Luthor matriarch. </p><p>Lillian nods her head. “Very good.”</p><p>And then they’re both walking out of the mansion and heading down the driveway to where an unfamiliar car is parked. </p><p>“Whose car is this?”</p><p>“One of my dad’s.”</p><p>“And why are we riding in it?”</p><p>“Because this is supposed to look like a date.”</p><p>“Ah,” Lena grins, actually impressed that Kara thought ahead. She lets the girl open the car door for her knowing that Lillian is most likely still looking at them from behind the french windows. When Kara slides into her own seat Lena asks, “Yes, but this isn’t a date. And you’re actually just dropping me off at the venue.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“To the first statement?”</p><p>“To both.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Kara chuckles. “It would be a waste of gas to drop you off and drive back. And I don’t have anything planned tonight anyway.”</p><p>Well this is dandy. Lena was planning on going alone, milking the freedom that she so rarely gets. Letting out a frustrated huff, Kara turns to her, a sheepish expression gracing her features. Her voice is small when she confesses, “I-I...draw, okay? Well I dabble. So I don’t know, I thought that tagging along would be nice. I’ve never been to an art exhibit before. But if you don’t want me there then I can go. This is your night, after all.”</p><p>Lena turns her head to look at Kara, sees nothing but sincerity even if she’s only looking at half of her face.</p><p>She could say it. She could tell the other girl that she wants to be alone. That she doesn’t want her there and Kara would concede. Give Lena the night to herself. </p><p>But then again maybe having Kara there wouldn’t be so bad? The girl is right. It would be a waste of gas. <em> Damn it </em>, why is she even considering this? Lena rolls her eyes. It’s for the environment. </p><p>“Fine,” she mumbles. </p><p>“Yeah?” </p><p>There’s a grin being thrown her way that makes her roll her eyes again. </p><p>“Yes. But we are not staying with each other. We’re going in separate ways, do you understand?”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“Good. I’m only letting you come along because you actually managed to let my mother agree, and yes it would be a waste of gas for you to drop me off, leave, and then come around to drive me back. But there won’t be a repeat of this. My time is my time.”</p><p>“Got it.”</p><p>Lena sinks into herself. It’s for the environment. Of course it is. </p><p> </p><p>Lena stares in awe at one of the paintings in the exhibit. She’s far from being a critic but she can identify a beautiful piece of work when she sees one. It’s the second time that she’s facing this particular painting, finds herself coming back after she’d rounded the baronial hall. </p><p>“Great, isn’t it?” An unfamiliar guy says when he approaches her. </p><p>Lena hasn’t seen Kara since they stepped in the exhibit, but now she wishes that the other girl is beside her. </p><p>The guy looks older than her but not by much. A college student, perhaps? It doesn’t matter. What matters is that he’s leering. </p><p>Lena pretends not to notice. Pretends to be so thoroughly soaked in the art that his presence is overlooked but Lena can see in her peripherals that the guy is stepping closer, still looking at her in that lascivious way that’s starting to make her skin itch.</p><p>Lena sees him opening his mouth, is about to say something when a hand curls on her wrist and tugs her away. Her head snaps up to see Kara on her other side, her warm hand urging her. She moves. </p><p>They’ve ambled towards the other end of the room when Lena finally sees the anger in Kara’s eyes. </p><p>“I didn’t like how he was looking at you. I’m sorry. I know I promised to stay out of your way tonight.”</p><p>“It’s fine.”</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>Lena looks at Kara. At the crease in her brows and the way that she looks genuinely concerned. She swallows the lump in her throat. </p><p>“Yes. Thank you, by the way. I thought that if I pretended not to see him that he’d lose interest. Apparently that just urged him on.”</p><p>“You’re welcome. I’m just glad that I was around and that I saw what was happening.”</p><p>Lena hums, doesn’t entirely voice out her agreement. She may have had her qualms about having Kara along when the night had started, but Lena is eternally grateful now. She doesn’t know anyone here. Doesn’t know if anyone would have helped her if she was alone. So really, Kara’s presence is an undisguised blessing. At least that’s what she calls it in her head. She’s not going to say it out loud. Duh. </p><p>“Ready to go home?” </p><p>Lena looks up at the other girl. Even in her heels Kara is still a bit taller than her. </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>It’s only when Kara is opening the car door for her that her hand withdraws from Lena’s wrist. Lena didn’t even notice. Had Kara been holding her wrist the entire time? While they were talking inside of the exhibit? When Kara asked her if she was ready to leave? When they were walking towards the car? She doesn’t even recall the pressure of Kara’s hand. Whatever. Lena doesn’t think too much about it. She’s not going to figure out what it means. </p><p> </p><p>Except that it’s all that Lena can think about. That stupid little touch and the fact that it changes things. The fact that Lena doesn’t flinch that much anymore after that, doesn’t stiffen whenever Kara’s hand finds hers or her wrist or her arm. Not that Kara’s touches have become welcomed per se, but it doesn’t make Lena wince as much as before. </p><p>Somehow that little act of Kara holding on to Lena’s wrist and pulling her away from that sleaze has changed something. Made Lena associate Kara’s touches with a sense of security. </p><p>What’s more surprising is the fact that Lena now reciprocates those little touches. A graze to the arm. A hand on Kara’s shoulder. Fingers flicking lint off of the other girl’s shirt. It feels...familiar. </p><p>Andrea notices it first the Tuesday after when Kara is walking Lena to class. Her hand is on Lena’s back and it’s evident to everyone in the room that Lena doesn’t mind. </p><p>“Thank you for walking me,” Lena says.</p><p>“Well your ankle still hurts from all of the basketball drills I made you do last weekend so it’s the least that I can do.” </p><p>Lena knows that Andrea’s eyebrows are up her hairline now. </p><p>“Basketball practice? You blew us off for <em> basketball practice</em>?” Andrea asks incredulously when Lena sits on the chair beside hers, Kara off to her own class. </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Since when does basketball matter to you?” </p><p>“Since Jones decided on the sport for midterms.”</p><p>That’s her legitimate reason, of course. Lena would never get into basketball if it weren’t for the sake of her grades. Andrea, however, smirks and narrows her eyes, obviously thinking that it’s because of something else entirely. </p><p>“Oh my god. You’re actually getting into basketball to get closer to Kara.”</p><p>An eye roll. “Of course not. She’s just helping is all. No sense in having a little fling with a varsity player if she’s useless, am I right?”</p><p>Only when the words leave her mouth does she realize what she’s just said. Fuck. </p><p>“Fling?” Andrea squeals, instantly grabbing the attention of their classmates. “You and Kara Danvers? I thought you guys were just screwing but ugh I should have known.”</p><p>Well shit. </p><p>Lena’s classmates begin murmuring amongst themselves after Andrea’s very helpful declaration. A blonde girl in class, one of Cat’s friends, whips out her cell phone straight away, most likely to spread the gossip. </p><p>It doesn’t take long for her own device to start buzzing. And buzzing. And buzzing. </p><p>There’s a message from Sam saying ‘You owe me details’. A message from Lex with a winking emoticon. And a message from Kara containing three question marks. </p><p>Another buzz. </p><p>Kara again. </p><p>‘You announced to your class that we’re dating?’</p><p>Andrea is about to say something when Lena silences her with a finger. She takes her phone and fires a quick response to Kara. </p><p>‘I’m sorry. Slip of the tongue. And I said fling.’</p><p>‘I don’t know. I’d usually prefer dinner first before labeling anything.’</p><p>That cheeky asshole. </p><p>‘If anyone should be taken out to dinner it should be me.’</p><p>‘Are you proposing that I take you out for a date?’</p><p>‘What can I say, Danvers? I’m a wine and dine kind of girl.’</p><p>It’s supposed to be playful. One that she and Kara have started growing accustomed to being around one another during their week of pretend dating. Or flinging. Whatever is the appropriate term. The point is they’ve begun to be more playful around each other. </p><p>But the frisky smirk on Lena’s face instantly drops when her phone next buzzes.</p><p>‘We’ll set it up after my game on Friday.’</p><p>What? Lena backtracks, reads Kara’s most recent message again. Hastily, Lena sends a reply. ‘I was kidding, Kara.’</p><p>‘Well I’m not. We’re dating now, aren’t we?’</p><p>There’s a winking emoji after that message that makes Lena roll her eyes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>come yell at me on twitter. it's @shncycc if anyone's interested lmao i need more people to talk to while i'm stuck at home</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Classes are lax that Friday morning. Typical, Lena thinks. Academics always come second when there’s a basketball game in the afternoon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s standing by her locker when Kara sidles up to her, face in a frown and a distant look in her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” Lena asks, not meaning to make it sound so brisk. It comes out like that anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have a game this afternoon,” is what Kara responds with. She sounds so dejected that Lena suddenly winces at how she greeted the blonde. Worries for a moment that something is wrong. Kara isn’t typically like this after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that. What’s the matter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sigh. “Alex can’t come to the game.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s grounded.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and uh, it’s also the first time that I’m playing without Cat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ah. There it is. Of course. Catherine Jane Grant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean… She’ll be there. She’s the head cheerleader. But I mean -I don’t know. It’ll be different. It’s just, I always play better when she’s cheering for me, you know? Just me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena wants to roll her eyes or maybe smack Kara on the back of her head. This is getting too sentimental for her tastes, but the girl actually looks miserable. And for all of the silliness that Kara shows her, the smiles and the steel determination to make Cat jealous over the past week, she’s actually still quite affected by the situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course she is. She dated Cat for more than a year and the break-up is still a fresh wound. She’s allowed to still feel heartbroken about it -even if the whole school thinks that she’s gotten over the other girl and had moved on with Lena.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Lena says, uncharacteristically soft. She’s never dated anyone before. A few flings maybe, but nothing as solid as a real relationship. Nothing that ever lasted long. But she’s not completely heartless. She knows how to empathize. “You’re a really good player. I’m sure that you’ll do fine. And if you need someone to cheer you on, well… You have the rest of the school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena knows that it isn’t the same, but that’s really the best that she can offer right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara tries to lift the corners of her mouth. “Thanks. So uh, I guess I’ll see you on the bleachers?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. See you,” and then Lena thinks to add, “Make sure to win. I don’t date losers, remember?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hint of a smirk. Lena takes it as an achievement. “I remember.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stamps down the hammering in her chest as she watches Kara disappear down the hallway. There’s a question echoing in her head, one that asks her why she thought to add that small bit after telling Kara that she’d be at the game. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tells herself that it’s for the school. Kara winning means glory for NCHS. That’s it and not at all because she wants Kara to smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because Kara doesn’t smile the entire morning. Or at least that’s what Lena notices during the brief times that she catches the other girl. Like when she’s walking down the hall and Kara is with her friends. Or when she’s passing by the art room on her way to class and sees Kara looking miserable from where she’s sitting in the back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not that Lena cares per se. It’s just disconcerting. More so because it lapses until the afternoon when everyone is cheering for the team as the players jog down the hall and towards the locker room. The cheers get louder when Kara passes them by but no one notices how the blonde girl’s smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cat is thrown into the air, does a spin before landing gracefully on the floor. A charming smile on her face. Pompoms in both hands. Yelling “NCHS”. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena sneers. She’s not even that pretty. Whatever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The game is about to start and for the first time, Lena is in the middle of the bleachers to watch the entire thing. Usually she’d prefer to stay at the back, somewhere far from her schoolmates. She’s not really interested in the sport, doesn’t even know much about it except for how many points one can earn when they shoot the ball. That and the very basic things that she’d learned in P.E. class. It never meant a thing to her except now that she has to pretend that it does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The players soon jog out of the lockers and the whole room erupts in a massive cheer. NCHS. NCHS. NCHS. Lena doesn’t even bother joining in. But then Kara’s eyes find hers in the sea of people, those sad baby blue eyes that make Lena’s throat itch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s in the contract, isn’t it? That she should cheer for the other girl? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She offers a wide smile, one that conveys something akin to support and hopes that it’s enough. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara smiles back. A small brief thing that still doesn’t reach her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then the game starts and everyone starts noticing then. Of course they would when Kara is missing shots, her runs becoming sluggish and her shoulders sagging like she doesn’t even want to be in the game at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Idiot. What an idiot, Lena thinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The game drags on and it’s during the end of the second quarter that Kara looks back up at her. She looks so small and helpless and who the hell is she right now? This isn’t Kara Danvers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena might not know much about the other girl -which should probably change since they’re supposedly dating -but she knows full well how Kara is when she’s in her element. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s energetic and joyous and so full of wonderful life. It’s her sport. This is supposed to be her game. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” Lena mouths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only response she gets is a defeated shrug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then it’s during the first few minutes of the third quarter that Kara gets elbowed in the rib. The whole room gasps, but that’s quiet compared to how Lena’s heart starts thundering in her chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She watches as Kara falls to the floor, starts searching the crowd, looking for a familiar face that she might latch on to, take hope from. She watches as the blonde girl takes stock of James Olsen and Winn Schott, her friends, but Lena can tell that they’re not enough. No. Kara is looking for her sister, but Alex isn’t there. And then Kara’s head turns and everyone just knows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s looking at Cat, waiting for the other girl to do something. Say something. Anything. Whatever that might help or boost Kara’s morale. But Cat doesn’t do anything but shake her head and look away, and it’s in that very moment that Lena notices, no matter how far she is, the slight wobble of Kara’s lower lip. The way that her shoulders sag even lower, the complete hopelessness in her eyes because Lena has been there. She knows what that look is, knows how it feels to search for someone to be there, to draw courage from. Knows what it’s like to want someone to pick you up only to find no one there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe that’s what possessed her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get your ass back up and play the damn game like you’re supposed to!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She never thought that her voice could sound like that. It’s a growl and a shout and an encouragement all at once. But in the quiet cavernous hall it sounded more like someone had connected her throat to the school’s speakers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone looks at her after that. Even the players from the other school, Star City Central High. But Lena doesn’t flinch. She only cares about one thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara whips her head towards her and Lena cocks a challenging eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna get up and win? I don’t date losers, remember?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara laughs for the first time that day. A genuine laugh bursting out of her mouth. And then she’s standing up and dusting herself off and everyone starts cheering again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And if Lena’s chest threatens to split open at the sight of Kara winking at her she pretends that she doesn’t feel anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s Lena that Kara turns to when she shoots the buzzer beating score that wins the match. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Lena that Kara runs to after her teammates hoist her up their shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Lena that Kara holds tight, thanks over and over again for getting her head in the game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t dare tell Kara to let go even though she smells like sweat and detergent. Even though their contract says no public displays of affection. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not really affection after all, right? It’s just...gratitude. Kara is simply thanking Lena for her support. Yes. That’s it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t mean anything. In fact it doesn’t even make Lena’s skin tingle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Lena. I mean it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome, but you should know that I didn’t do it for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara rolls her eyes at this. A fond one that joins her chuckle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did it for yourself because you don’t date losers. Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go get changed. You smell disgusting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Kara says, her smile still in place. “And then we’re going to talk about that thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What thing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our date.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena gulps. She had hoped that Kara would have forgotten about that. Apparently the other girl hasn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena looks around the gym, happy to find that she’s almost alone with the blonde girl. Most of the students have trickled out of the hall to go home or attend the party that Mike Matthews is throwing. Still, Lena decides that she should lower her voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was only kidding, Kara.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m not. If we want this to feel natural then we should take each other out on dates. Imagine how it would look like to everyone else if it feels right between the two of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena sighs. The girl has a point, not that she would admit it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve been doing just fine the past week without having to go on one, Kara.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smirk. “Don’t think that I haven’t noticed you stop pulling away from me after we went to that gallery together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena’s heart stops. Had she been that obvious?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, Lena,” Kara amends. “I’m happy that you’re becoming more comfortable with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena bites her tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She </span>
  <em>
    <span>has </span>
  </em>
  <span>gotten more comfortable around Kara. Not that it’s a bad thing. She supposes that it’s actually amazing news considering that they have to fool Cat into thinking that they’re together. Not that the mere sight of them in Kara’s bug isn’t enough to make Cat’s blood boil.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So can I take you out on a date?” Kara asks, looking unfairly enchanting despite the sweaty jersey and the hairs sticking out from her ponytail, and for the first time in their whole arrangement, Lena panics. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because okay, Kara has always been beautiful, but it hasn’t bothered Lena until now. She swallows the rumble that she feels starting to build up in her chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine. If you have to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara chuckles at that. “Come on, Lena. Sound excited about spending time with me for once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena rolls her eyes, her voice turning ironic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> to go on a date with you, Kara. It would be such a pleasure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she knows that it lacks her usual bite, and Kara sees right through her feigned sarcasm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great. Because we’re going on one right now.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Why are we going on a date instead of going to Mike’s party?” Lena asks when she slides into the passenger seat of Kara’s bug. </p><p>“Because people are expecting me to be there. But I’ll be going out with you instead.” A wink. Lena rolls her eyes. </p><p>“You can be quite dubious when you want to be, do you know that?” </p><p>“Another fun fact about me,” Kara cheekily says, slipping the key into the ignition and driving away. “And it isn’t like you want to attend that party anyway. I’m pretty sure you’d much prefer my company than the whole school’s.”</p><p>Another eye roll but Kara doesn’t need Lena’s confirmation to know that she’s right. Lena has never willingly attended anyone’s party before. The only time that she’d grace her presence is if it’s Andrea hosting the gathering, or if Andrea or Sam or even Lillian force her to make an hour of appearance. Not that Lillian approves of these parties but the older woman expects Lena to mingle once in a while.</p><p>“What about you? Don’t you want to go?” Lena asks.</p><p>“I mean I do. Especially since Cat’s most likely at that party. It would have been a good chance for us to show up together and make her jealous.”</p><p>“But?”</p><p>“But after what happened at the game? The way that she just looked at me having a hard time when she clearly saw that I needed her? Nah. I think I’ll pass. And besides, you’re better company.”</p><p>There’s a wink thrown in after that little speech that makes Lena shake her head. She wouldn’t admit it, but she’s happy that Kara’s choosing to spend time with her instead. </p><p>The blonde is right. Cat doesn’t deserve Kara’s presence right now. And Kara doesn’t deserve to see Cat acting jealous when it wasn’t her that got Kara back up on her feet at the game earlier. </p><p>Lena chuckles. “What a strange day today is. I helped you at the game, and now you’re choosing to be with me instead of with your friends.”</p><p>She doesn’t miss the soft look that Kara gives her. “You’re my friend too, Lena.”</p><p>It doesn’t bring a jolt of warmth to Lena’s chest. Doesn’t make her breath stutter or head spin for a minute. </p><p>Lena doesn’t have many friends. She’s cold and stubborn and she pushes people away before they can ever get too close. Sam and Andrea are the only exceptions. They’ve been her friends since she was little.</p><p>Lena looks at the blonde girl driving the car. “You consider me your friend?”</p><p>Kara doesn’t look back, focuses on the road ahead. “I wouldn’t have trusted you with this pretense if I didn’t.”</p><p>“You barely even know me.”</p><p>“Maybe I want to.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Know you.”</p><p>Lena rolls her eyes. A fond gesture. “You know you’re supposed to know someone first before you consider them your friend.”</p><p>“I’m a good judge of character. I knew you were trustworthy the moment that we met.”</p><p>Lena doesn’t respond to that. She doesn’t know what to say. </p><p>They’re silent for the rest of the drive. No music. No conversation. Just the gentle hum of the engine as Kara weaves through the streets. </p><p>It doesn’t take long until she’s stopping by a diner Lena’s never heard of. </p><p>“Okay, so I know the place looks unreliable but trust me they serve the best burgers.”</p><p>Lena still doesn’t say anything, her mind still hung up on their previous conversation. </p><p> </p><p>“So tell me something,” Kara prompts, popping a greasy fry to her mouth. </p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>“Something that you would share on a first date,” Kara winks. What an idiot. </p><p>“I don’t talk when I eat, Kara.”</p><p>“Yes you do. You talk to Sam and Andrea at lunch when you’re eating your salad.”</p><p>Lena bites her tongue. Kara looks at her in school? Well, Lena surmises, it’s probably to show her friends that she’s paying attention. She swallows the lump in her throat.</p><p>“Fine. Ask me something.”</p><p>“What kind of music do you like?”</p><p>“Classical. Sometimes indie rock.”</p><p>Kara nods her head. Smiles. “Yeah you never striked me as the pop kind of girl.”</p><p>Lena lets herself chuckle. “And you always struck me as the Disney soundtrack kind.”</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p>“What else?” Lena asks this time.</p><p>“Movie?”</p><p>“Star Wars. Lord of The Rings.”</p><p>Kara’s mouth drops. “No way, mine too!”</p><p>“Hmm. I thought that yours would be Notting Hill. Or something along those lines at least.”</p><p>Kara pouts. “There’s nothing wrong with liking all three.”</p><p>Lena snickers. </p><p>When Kara had told her about going out on a date, Lena didn’t think it would be like this. She had been nervous, yes. A little apprehensive because honest to god she didn’t see the whole point. They didn’t need to. They were only pretending to like each other in that way. So what was the point in going out on a date when there wasn’t an audience around. </p><p>But looking at Kara now, the way that her eyes are shimmering in the dull light, the way that her smile looks a thousand times brighter, Lena is glad that she’s here. With her. </p><p>And yes, okay. Maybe it doesn’t hurt to know Kara a little better. If she’s going to continue with this little plan then she might as well be knowledgeable about some certain aspects of the other girl’s life. Like…</p><p>“What’s your favorite subject?” Lena asks. </p><p>“I like everything, to be honest, but maybe P.E.”</p><p>Lena rolls her eyes. “Of course you would say that. You’re an athlete.”</p><p>Kara chuckles. “You’re an athlete too. I can tell, even if you suck at basketball.”</p><p>A wicked grin. “You can tell from my form?” </p><p>“Yes, okay. Stop that. I just meant that you look like you play a sport. Maybe something fancy like fencing.”</p><p>Lena’s smile doesn’t leave her face. Impressive, she thinks, that Kara’s somehow figured that out. </p><p>“Correct. Fencing. Polo. Bowling. I did a bit of figure skating when I was younger but it never stuck.”</p><p>The way that Kara’s jaw drops open is comical. “Okay, I’m definitely taking you ice skating at the lake come winter. You’re showing me your best moves.”</p><p>It’s said a little too lightly for Lena’s taste. Too casual. And should they really be making plans for the future? How long are they planning to drag this pretense anyway? </p><p>Lena clears her throat. </p><p>“I think I’d like that.”</p><p> </p><p>Lillian’s form is by the window when Kara is coming to a stop on the mansion’s driveway. Lena gulps. The clock on the dashboard reads 11:48 PM. She’s never been out this late. Well, not for something that isn’t school related anyway.  </p><p>“You should go. I can handle her,” Lena tells Kara. </p><p>“No, I’m not doing that. I’m the one that kept you. I should be the one to apologize.”</p><p>Lena rolls her eyes. There’s really no denying the other girl’s idiocy. “That’s not a good idea.”</p><p>“It’s still what I’m going to do,” Kara answers, turning the key and sliding it out of the slot. She’s out of the car before Lena can protest. </p><p>It’s when they’re halfway to the front door that Lena feels Kara’s hand brush hers, a pinky loosely finding her own.</p><p>She gulps, her heart beating triple time because of the damn move. It’s the first thing that Lillian looks at when she opens the door. There’s a pleased look on her face, contrary to the disapproval that Lena thought would be waiting for her. </p><p>Lena is about to open her mouth and apologize when Kara begins talking. </p><p>“I’m so sorry for keeping Lena out this late, Mrs. Luthor. I took her out for a celebratory dinner after the basketball game and completely lost track of the time. It won’t happen again.”</p><p>Lillian doesn’t even look incensed. Doesn’t have that look on her face that means that Lena would still be in trouble after Kara leaves. She simply looks…relieved. </p><p>“Yes, I suppose that’s normal. Thank you for driving Lena home and congratulations on winning the game.”</p><p>What the hell is going on? Lena stares at Lillian. The woman in front of them surely can’t be her mother, right?</p><p>“Thank you,” Kara answers politely. “Uh, well, I should probably go. I’ll see you on Monday, Lena?” </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Kara slides her finger off of Lena’s, is about to turn around when Lillian suddenly interrupts. </p><p>“Perhaps you would like to come see her tomorrow?” The offer makes Lena’s brain short circuit. “We’re seeing a show at the National City Theatre in the evening. Perhaps you would like to join us?”</p><p>Kara doesn’t even stutter, turns to fully face Lillian with her smile firmly back in its place. “Thank you very much for the offer, Mrs. Luthor, but I wouldn’t want to intrude on your family night.”</p><p>“Nonsense! We would love for you to come along.”</p><p>“Well, if you insist. I’ll have to run it by Eliza first, though,” Kara answers.</p><p>“Of course. You can text Lena your confirmation.”</p><p>And then Lillian is leaving them with a final good night to Kara, both girls shell shocked on the front porch, Lena’s mouth hanging because,</p><p>“What the hell just happened?” </p><p>Kara simply chuckles. “Your mother invited me to your family night. That’s what happened.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Kara. I’ll make up an excuse for you -,”</p><p>Kara’s hand shoots out to Lena’s wrist, immediately calming her and stopping her mid sentence. Fuck, Lena thinks. There it is again. That stupid touch.</p><p>“It’s totally fine, Lena. I’d love to come along. Unless, uh, you don’t want me to?”</p><p>It’s not that Lena doesn’t want her to be there. It’s just that Kara doesn’t <em> need </em>to be there. There’s no one to pretend to. No audience that they need to convince. It’s just her and Lex and her mother. </p><p>But then Lena starts thinking about their date earlier. How it was just the two of them, Kara and Lena with no one around to persuade that they’re dating. No one that they have to sell the notion to. It was just them and it had been <em> great</em>. Okay. So Lex and Lillian would be with them tomorrow, but they don’t really count. Lex doesn’t even go to NCHS anymore. He just has friends that keep him up to date with the latest gossip. Gossip that Lillian certainly doesn’t care about -unless it negatively impacts their family in some way. Whatever. The point is that they won’t be completely alone tomorrow which means that while they might have to keep up with the facade, it’d still be okay if they didn’t. And Lena finds herself liking the idea. Not that she would ever outright admit it.</p><p>“No, no. I want you to be there. At least I won’t have to talk to Lex the entire time,” she says, going for a light laugh.</p><p>“Then I’ll be there.”</p><p>“Okay. So I’ll see you tomorrow?”</p><p>“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>kara's pov next week</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>kara's pov</p><p>friendly reminder that getting over someone doesn't happen overnight. it's only natural that we give it time</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s not the first time that Kara’s come home late. She’s a jock in high school. She almost always comes home late. Which is why it comes as a shock to her that Eliza and Alex are waiting for her in the living room when she enters the front door. </p><p>They’re not usually the confrontative type. Truthfully, there isn’t a need for confrontations in their household. They share everything with each other. Well, maybe not with Eliza. High school girls are still entitled to their privacy, but Alex and Kara always tell each other everything. So yes, Kara knows exactly what she walks into the moment that her eyes land on her mother and her sister sitting on different couches, looking at her with the kind of concern that makes her feel both nervous and grateful. </p><p>“It’s almost midnight,” Eliza says, her tone gentle. </p><p>“I’m sorry, Eliza. We had a little celebration after the game and I lost track of time.”</p><p>Alex is quick to add. “I called James. He said you weren’t at the party.”</p><p>Her older sister looks at her pointedly and Kara can tell that Alex isn’t going to hold anything back this time. She’s been trying to get Kara to tell her about what’s really going on with her and Lena, but Kara’s always found a way to lie about it. She isn’t proud of it, of having to lie to her Alex, but it’s probably for the best. She doesn’t need someone to talk her out of her plan. Doesn’t need someone to smack some sense into her. She just wants to get Cat back. </p><p>“I wasn’t with James. I was with Lena,” Kara says.</p><p>“Luthor? I didn’t realize you two were close,” Eliza muses. “Well, I wish you would have texted us. We were worried is all.”</p><p>Kara walks over to her foster mother, bends down a little to press a kiss to the older woman’s cheek. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”</p><p>That placates her. Eliza stands up, kisses her daughter’s forehead, and bids her good night. </p><p>Alex crosses her hands on her chest the moment that Eliza is out of earshot. There’s a scowl on her face that tells Kara she isn’t going to let up that easily. </p><p>“So you were with Lena again, huh?”</p><p>“Yeah. We were at Cesario’s,” Kara responds, plopping down on the couch beside Alex. </p><p>They’re silent for a little while until Alex completely deflates and just looks at her sister with unabashed worry. It makes Kara’s throat tighten. </p><p>“I heard about what happened at the game. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there,” Alex says, reaching a hand out to her sister’s knee. </p><p>A shaky sigh. “It’s okay, Alex.”</p><p>“James said… He said that Lena helped you out? Got your head back in the game?”</p><p>The memory brings a jolt of warmth to Kara’s chest, makes her smile and feel lighter somehow. “She did, yeah.”</p><p>Alex grimaces. “Look, Kara. I’m happy that you found a new friend, but I’ve heard rumors going around and I just… You don’t have to tell me anything. I don’t want to force you into telling me anything, even though, yes, I am a bit pissed that you’re hiding this from me. But that’s not how we work. I just don’t want you to get hurt when whatever you’re doing doesn’t get the result that you’re obviously hoping for.”</p><p>That makes Kara frown. Alex knows. Of course she does. She’s Kara’s best friend, and she knows Kara like the back of her hand. </p><p>“Alex…”</p><p>“Hey. You’ll tell me when you’re ready. I get it. Just be careful, okay? I don’t want your heart broken more than it already is.”</p><p>She gathers herself and walks out after that, leaving Kara alone to muse about their conversation in the dimly lit room. </p><p> </p><p>Alex doesn’t know what she’s talking about, Kara tells herself as she’s staring at the glow in the dark stars in her room ceiling. She’s lying on her back, her fingers interlocked and resting on top of her chest. She can hear herself breathing, feel her heart’s steady rhythm as she thinks about the previous conversation that she had with her sister. </p><p>Why would she get hurt? Why would her heart break all over again? Cat is going to take her back. She is. She just needs a little more nudge. Their plan is going to work. </p><p>It’s become a mantra, those lines. They keep her sane, prevent her from breaking down all over again. </p><p>She takes a deep breath. The plan is going to work. Cat is going to take her back. She won’t get hurt. </p><p>But then Kara remembers what had happened at the game. The way that Cat shook her head at her when she silently pleaded for help. The rejection and the ache in her heart at Cat’s defiance to be there for her when she needed her. It makes Kara’s eyes water. Cat had always been there for her, had kissed all of her bruises, took care of her when she needed taking care of. </p><p>It stung. It still does. </p><p>In a moment of weakness, Kara grabs her phone from under her pillow and sends a message to Cat.</p><p>‘Hey.’</p><p>She doesn’t get a response. </p><p>‘Not even a congratulations?’</p><p>Her hands begin to tremble as the minutes go by. She shoves the damn thing back under her pillow. She’s making a fool of herself again. </p><p>The thought makes Kara’s chest squeeze tightly and as if on cue, tears begin streaming down the sides of her face, wetting her ears and staining the sheets. Kara doesn’t wipe them away, lets the pain wash over her again as she has for the past weeks. </p><p>How can someone say they love you and then leave you like that? How can someone who once promised you forever simply say ‘it’s not going to work, it’s over’? </p><p>Kara doesn’t understand. </p><p>She knows that Cat loves her. She feels it deep within her bones that Cat still does. She sees it whenever she and Lena are together, that fiery jealousy. So then why is she being so stubborn? Why won’t she admit that she still wants Kara in her life? Why won’t she just take back everything that she said? </p><p>The tears flow more freely now, and Kara stops herself from full-on sobbing. Alex is just in the other room. She doesn’t want her to hear. </p><p>Kara lets herself cry, lets her heart crumple upon herself until she’s too exhausted to go on. </p><p>She misses Cat so much. </p><p>Kara closes her eyes. It’s been weeks of being like this when she’s alone in her room. Crying herself to tiredness. Imagining sparkling hazel eyes until she’s succumbing to slumber. </p><p>She takes a deep and shaky breath.</p><p>It’s when she’s finally falling to sleep that the hazel eyes in her imagination shift. The last thing that she remembers is the both of them changing into a greener shade. </p><p> </p><p>Kara wakes up feeling at peace. </p><p>It’s a strange feeling to feel rested after a night of heavy emotions, but there she is, her heart lighter than it had been the night before. </p><p>She briefly wonders what caused it, but she doesn’t remember. She puts the thought aside.</p><p>She gets the green light to join Lena and her family at the theatre after lunch. Eliza’s eyebrows skyrocket when she asks but she doesn’t say anything except for her approval. Alex, too, had been quiet about the whole thing. Although there’s a knowing look on her face that Kara recognizes.</p><p>Come four in the afternoon and Kara starts preparing for her evening with the Luthors. She searches her closet for one of her better blouses, similar to the one that she wore at the art gallery with Lena. She has a truckload of them, silk and Oxford button shirts, hidden deep inside her cabinet. Gifts from Eliza and Jeremiah. She’s pulling one off from the rack when she decides to wear something else. </p><p>She’s feeling a bit more dressy tonight. </p><p>Kara puts the blouse back on the hanger and takes her favorite havana blue dress. Her eyes light up when she looks at herself in the mirror. The dress is modest but fits her in all of the most delicious places. She bites her lower lip and thinks to herself, Lena is going to like this dress. </p><p>Her heart tumbles. No, Kara thinks. She isn’t going to dress up for Lena per se. She just...doesn’t want to humiliate the other girl. She has to look good for Lena. After all, Lena always looks good for her. Not that Lena does it on purpose, or at least Kara thinks so. She shakes her head. No. Lena wouldn’t purposefully dress up for her. She’s just inherently beautiful the way that she is. Whatever. She’s digressing. </p><p>Kara sits on the chair facing her vanity and fixes her hair, putting it up in a twistie bun. Next comes her make-up.</p><p>She beams when she finishes, once again thinking that Lena would like how she looks. She scrunches her nose, briefly wonders why there’s a slight swoop in her stomach. There’s nothing for her stomach to be swooping about. It’s a casual night out with Lena and her family, one that she’s only coming along to because it’s what Lena deserves. She’s put the girl through so much already, having to pretend to be in love with her when she knows that Lena doesn’t see her in that way. The least that she could do is hold up her end of the bargain. And if that means going to theatres with the Luthor family then sure. </p><p>“You look fantastic, Kara,” Lex comments when he opens the mansion door for her. </p><p>“Thanks, Lex. You don’t look so bad yourself,” she says. It makes him laugh. </p><p>“Lena’s almost ready. I think. Let me go get her. You can wait in the parlor.”</p><p>Kara nods her head and makes her way towards the said room. She knows where it is, but she decides not to go there straight away. Instead, Kara lingers in the hall, facing the wall adorned with pictures of Lena and her family. </p><p>She sees a black and white photograph of the Luthor clan. Lionel and Lillian are seated while Lex and Lena stand behind them. Beside that frame is a picture of Lex in a dashing suit, posing with what looks like a dozen medals hanging on his neck. The last picture that she looks at is of Lena. It’s a candid picture, one of her on a horse, a serious look on her face as she’s swinging the mallet. It’s a mesmerizing photograph, and Kara cannot help but stare at it. </p><p>Lena is beautiful in every sense of the word. </p><p>There’s that swoop again. </p><p>“Kara?”</p><p>Kara immediately turns around at the sound of her name, watches as Lena descends down the stairs. She’s wearing a suit this time, and Kara gulps. A tailored suit in forest green that makes the colors of her eyes pop. Her hair is down in loose waves. Kara’s hands begin to itch.</p><p>“L-Lena, hey.”</p><p>“You’re wearing a dress,” is what Lena says next. Kara doesn’t notice the lump in Lena’s throat. Can only focus on the lump in hers.</p><p>“And you’re wearing a suit.”</p><p>Lena smiles something small. “Yeah. Uh, do you like it?”</p><p>“Yes, absolutely,” she replies a little too quickly. </p><p>The swoop in Kara’s stomach returns with a force. It’s spinning this time, like the inside of a washing machine turning over and over again. </p><p>She already knows that Lena is gorgeous. Even in a simple hoodie. Even when she’s sitting in the corner of the room and trying to go unnoticed. But Lena in a suit? That shit hits different. </p><p>“Shall we go?” Says a voice from somewhere in the house. It’s Lillian’s. </p><p>Kara stammers. “Uh, yes.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>Kara hears the mirth in Lillian’s voice. Can tell that the older woman is watching the staring game that Kara and Lena have found themselves in. But Kara can’t look away. She watches Lena as she ambles down the stairs, as Lena shyly ducks her head because Kara is staring at her. </p><p>It’s when they’re out of the house and heading towards the garage that Lena finally speaks. </p><p>“You need to stop looking at me like that.”</p><p>Her voice is firm, annoyed even. </p><p>“Looking at you like what?”</p><p>And then Lena sighs. “Nothing.”</p><p>Kara doesn’t understand.</p><p>“Thank you for coming, by the way. You didn’t have to.”</p><p>“I know,” is the only thing that Kara says. She doesn’t follow it up by saying that she’s glad that she’s here now to see Lena like this. In this perfectly stunning suit that she doesn’t know is going to replace the color in her dreams. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>it might be happening at a snail's pace, but kara's gonna get there. i promise</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>shit's about to go down</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lena doesn’t miss the way that Kara keeps stealing glances at her, looking from beneath her lashes with twinkling eyes and an expression on her face that Lena doesn’t want to decipher. It looks like reverence, maybe something akin to awe, but there’s also something else there. Or is there? Lena bites the inside of her cheek. She’s probably just imagining things. Seeing what she wants…</p><p>No.</p><p>She doesn’t want anything. This is a casual thing. An arrangement. A business deal. Lena doesn’t want anything. </p><p>“Eyes on the stage,” Lena says, tone bordering annoyed. She doesn’t mean for it to sound the way that it does, but she has to say it like that. Has to get Kara to stop looking at her like...something. Whatever.</p><p>Kara rolls her eyes at the snark. “We’re on intermission, Lena.”</p><p>Right. She knew that. </p><p>Kara smirks when she sees the realization dawn on Lena’s face. </p><p>“What’s with the unnecessary attitude? I thought you wanted me here.”</p><p>Lena sighs. “I do.”</p><p>“Then what is it?”</p><p>Lena doesn’t respond. Instead, she turns her body so that she’s fully facing Kara. There’s a searching look in the other girl’s face, her eyebrows knit together prettily in a genuinely confused expression. </p><p>“Tell me.”</p><p>Another sigh. Lena isn’t going to tell her the real reason, obviously. She isn’t going to tell Kara that she needs to stop looking at her with that wonderstruck expression because it isn’t doing anything to her or her heart anyway. There’s really nothing to confess. </p><p>“It’s nothing. I swear.”</p><p>Kara doesn’t look convinced, looks like she’s about to argue. It’s only at the last minute that she decides not to push. Rolling her eyes with that fond smile of hers, Kara chooses to look away. </p><p>It’s during the second half of the performance that they switch roles. </p><p>Kara is watching the stage intensely, her mouth slightly hanging in amazement, and Lena can’t help but chance a few glimpses at her. She’s looking at Kara curiously, wondering if the other girl knows what she is doing or not. </p><p>Probably not. It doesn’t matter.</p><p>Except that it does.</p><p>Lena can’t stop thinking about it. It’s bad enough that Kara’s touches have an effect on her. She can’t have her glances do the same. </p><p>No. No. It doesn’t mean anything, Lena berates herself. She turns back to the stage and decides to focus on the show instead. She’s not going to let her thoughts eat her away. She won’t let Kara have that impact on her. </p><p>When the show ends, Lillian suggests having dinner at a nearby hotel. Lena half expects Kara to decline the offer, but she should have known better. Kara is polite and respectful and sophisticated. Of course she agrees with a winning smile that Lillian readily eats up. </p><p>They’re waiting for their orders when Lillian unexpectedly addresses the young blonde girl. </p><p>“So, Kara, what are your intentions towards my daughter.”</p><p>“Mother!” Lena hisses. Beside her, Kara chokes on her glass of water. Lex doesn’t even bother hiding the grin on his face. What an asshole.</p><p>“What?” Lillian asks. “I’m simply trying to make conversation.”</p><p>“I don’t think that’s how you go about it,” Lena huffs.</p><p>Kara reaches a hand out to cover one of Lena’s on top of the table. A move that immediately soothes her. Lillian notices, of course. Her eyebrows shoot up to her forehead. </p><p>“I simply noticed that the two of you have been spending a lot of time together. Kara picks you up and drives you home, and I’ve heard rumors circulating about that the two of you have started dating.”</p><p>Kara’s voice is collected when she answers. “Yes, Mrs. Luthor. The rumors are correct, although Lena and I haven’t made it official yet. We are seeing each other, but we’re still trying to get to know each other first.”</p><p>Lena bites her tongue. Kara sounds so believable. </p><p>“Hmm. I suppose that’s better than immediately jumping into a relationship. You were dating Catherine Grant before, weren’t you?”</p><p>“Yes, that’s correct. Which is why Lena and I are taking things slow,” Kara turns to Lena then, her baby blue eyes soft and so sincere. “I didn’t want her to feel like she’s a substitute for Cat, like I’m merely displacing whatever residual feelings that I have. I assure you, Mrs. Luthor, it isn’t like that.”</p><p>Lena’s breath catches in her throat. Kara has never looked at her this intensely. She looks down at their hands, at the way that Kara’s thumb is moving absentmindedly along the ridges of her knuckles. </p><p>Lena feels like she’s going to faint. </p><p>Across from them, Lillian nods her approval. She looks...relieved. Like she had been hoping for the answer that Kara had just given her. </p><p>“Good. I’m glad to hear that.”</p><p>“I’m glad too,” Lex adds, sounding as genuine as their mother. “It’s time that Lena has someone other than her friends and family. I’m glad that it’s you, Kara.”</p><p>“I’m glad that it’s me too.”</p><p>Lena doesn’t know what to make of that at all.</p><p> </p><p>Kara courteously declines Lillian’s offer for tea when they arrive back at the mansion. The older woman nods her head in understanding before bidding her good night. Lex says his goodbyes as well before heading up to his room. Then it’s just Kara and Lena. </p><p>Lena is walking Kara back to the garage where one of their servants have transferred her car when she finally speaks up. </p><p>“Thank you for coming.”</p><p>Kara looks back at her, smiles until the little wrinkles on the side her eyes are visible. </p><p>“For a while there I thought you wished I didn’t come.”</p><p>Lena shakes her head. She sighs. “I was a little hot and cold, wasn’t I?”</p><p>“A little?”</p><p>“Fine. A lot.”</p><p>Kara grins. “It’s fine, Lena. I’m glad that I came too.”</p><p>Lena swallows the lump in her throat at Kara’s open smile. It’s a business deal, she reminds herself. Nothing more. But she can’t help but bring it up. God, what’s the matter with her?</p><p>“About what you said earlier. At the restaurant. When mother asked about your intentions with me?”</p><p>Kara winces, and Lena wishes she didn’t say anything at all. </p><p>“Yeah, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I had to say something credible to convince your mom.”</p><p>Lena laughs, a hollow broken thing. Kara doesn’t notice it. </p><p>“Yeah, you definitely had her fooled.”</p><p>There’s an ache in her chest that she wills away. Sharp and unforgiving. Lena takes a deep breath, reminds herself that this is all a business deal. There’s nothing to get worked up about. </p><p>
  <em> I didn’t want her to feel like she’s a substitute for Cat. </em>
</p><p>She isn’t even a real substitute, goddammit. And she agreed to this game with eyes wide open. </p><p>“That’ll be good for you,” Kara says when they’re finally by the garage at the side of the mansion. Her dad’s car is spotless and gleaming under the harsh lamppost light. “You can just use my name and your mom will let you go out whenever you want.”</p><p>“That’s why I consented to this, right?” </p><p>But it sounds more like Lena is reminding herself. </p><p>“Right. Of course.”</p><p>They’re standing beside Jeremiah’s car now, but Kara doesn’t look like she’s going to get in. She’s hovering by the driver’s door, looking at Lena with searching eyes. Lena doesn’t know what the other girl wants. </p><p>“The suit looks good on you. The green matches your eyes.”</p><p>“Oh. Thank you. You look beautiful in your dress, too,” Lena says, aware that they’ve had this conversation before. </p><p>Kara must have realized what she’s thinking because she chuckles, and then a gust of cold wind makes her gasp and shiver. Lena watches the other girl’s mouth intently, the way that her pink lips part slightly. She takes off her suit jacket without another thought. </p><p>“Here.” Lena wraps the fabric around Kara’s shoulders, runs her hands up and down the other girl’s forearms to keep her warm. She feels Kara tense under the jacket, feels those arms flex under her touch. </p><p>Lena gasps and pretends that it’s from the cold. </p><p>“Thanks,” Kara says.</p><p>“You should go. It’s getting late.”</p><p>Kara nods her head, gets in the car and Lena watches as she disappears into the night. </p><p> </p><p>She’s desperately trying to forget about the whole thing, the whole night, when Lex knocks on her door. She lets him in. </p><p>She’s facing her vanity, brushing her long black hair, when she sees him enter her room. The expression on his face is solemn. </p><p>“I know,” is what he says after he’s closed the door and is standing right behind her. Lena’s hand stops mid-brush. </p><p>“What do you mean ‘you know’?”</p><p>“You’re my sister, Lena,” he answers. He turns around to sit on the edge of her bed, the somber look still painted on his face. Lena panics for a second. </p><p>“Lex, I don’t-,”</p><p>“You and Kara aren’t really dating, but you’re beginning to wish that you are.”</p><p>“W-what?” The blunt honesty throws her aback. She drops her brush on the table, swirls around to face him. “That’s ridiculous!”</p><p>Lex shakes his head. “I saw it, Lena. Tonight. At the restaurant.”</p><p>“That’s absurd, Lex, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>“The way that she spoke about your relationship, I almost believed it. She’s a very good actress," he chuckles before his expression turns serious again. “But then I looked at you and I saw the yearning in your eyes. Like you knew that she was pretending, but you wanted it to be true so badly.”</p><p>Lena’s grip on the back of her chair tightens. She doesn’t realize it, but her knuckles have turned white. What is the purpose for all of this? Why the need for this confrontation? Why can’t Lex just mind his own goddamn business?</p><p>“Lex-,”</p><p>“She’s still in love with Cat, isn’t she?”</p><p>“I don’t-,”</p><p>“And you’re going along with it because mom likes her.”</p><p>“Lex, please,” </p><p>“But what I don’t understand is why you would willingly hurt yourself like that,” Lex muses. And then it hits him, the way that Lena’s eyebrows have furrowed, the way that her hand begins to shake. She’s tearing up and he can see it, can hear the shallowness of her breath. The denial on her face is as clear as day. “Oh no, Lena, no.”</p><p>“Lex, please,” Lena all but pleads. </p><p>“You were denying it, weren’t you?” </p><p>She doesn’t answer. Her mind is going a mile a minute but no words come out of her mouth. Lena is frozen in place, cold and petrified and god, she just wants this to end. There’s no need for him to air it all out like this. </p><p>“You’ve known that there was something there, but you’ve been telling yourself that there isn’t.”</p><p>Lena stands abruptly. She needs to put a stop to this.</p><p>“Get out,” she says. </p><p>“Lena-,”</p><p>“Get. Out.”</p><p>Lex gets up from the edge of the bed. He takes one look at his sister before he steps forward and wraps her in his arms. It’s been awhile since they’ve done this. Shown affection like this. Most days it’s just bickering and tender teasing. But not like this. Not an embrace that sends Lena’s brain out of control because <em> fuck.  </em></p><p>She’s fallen for Kara. Somewhere in between the eye rolls and the pretenses, she’s fallen for her and god, she’d been so good at keeping it under wraps. Denying it with every cell in her body. Putting the growing feeling in little boxes and forcefully labeling them as platonic fondness. And now… </p><p>Why did Lex have to butt in her business? Why couldn’t he just turn a blind eye?</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Lex whispers before he releases her. He sounds sincere which makes everything worse. </p><p>When he lets Lena go, she doesn’t register the lack of his warmth, or the sound of the door or his footsteps fading from earshot. The only thing that she can focus on is her mind screaming at her. </p><p>The little boxes are open now. And there goes her denial.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Anger comes easily to Lena. It’s the one emotion that she finds uncomplicated, effortless. Straightforward. She can be angry with whoever she wants for however long, and she can stand by that emotion until she decides to drop it. After all, life is about decisions, isn’t it? And as much as she knows that her actions have led her to this very moment, Lena decides that it’s easier to be angry with everyone else instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like at Lillian, for example, because her mother is the reason why she agreed to pretend to be dating Kara in the first place. Because her mother can’t give her the freedom that she wants without the other girl. And why? What for? What is her reason? Lena doesn’t even know what. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At Lex, because he just had to confront her, didn’t he? He just had to butt in and air everything out. What did that gain him? A more sullen sister? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At Cat, because this all started with her. If she didn’t break up with Kara then Kara wouldn’t have come to her. Kara wouldn’t have concocted her crazy plan, and Lena would have had her peace at the park all those weeks ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wouldn’t be pacing back and forth in her room now like a mad woman because it’s almost seven o’clock the Monday after her breakdown, waiting for Kara because she’s still carpooling with her. Fuck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Kara. Kara who just had to come to her that faithful Saturday. Kara, who she didn’t have feelings for at first, by the way, but then she just had to be such a great actress. Just had to perform so believably, so sincerely, that Lena can’t help but wonder if the other girl cares for her even the slightest bit. If there’s any chance…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No. God. What is she thinking? How can she be thinking of chances and what if’s when they’re literally doing this whole charade so she can get Cat back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She should hate Kara. Yes, that’s it. She should look for flaws, for the littlest details that would amp up her annoyance with the other girl. Right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she forgets all about her plan when Kara greets her with a sunny smile and a little “G’morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Lena says back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The light from the car window hits Kara’s head just right, giving her a golden halo that makes her look like a goddamn angel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena clears her throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ready to go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. All set.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The drive to school is almost quiet. Almost. Lena tries to be indifferent the whole time, but Kara is humming a happy tune beside her, and it’s enough to break Lena’s defenses. She bites her tongue to stop herself from smiling. Kara looks like a complete idiot beside her, rapping along to whatever song is on the radio. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sound ridiculous, Kara.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me, I sound fantastic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mock offense is what finally breaks Lena. Dear god. She’s going to regret ever agreeing to this plan, isn’t she?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walk side by side when they get to the parking lot. Lena tries her best to ignore the warmth radiating off of Kara’s skin. She curses Lex for the nth time in her head. Now that her denial about her feelings for Kara has crumbled, all she can think about is… Well… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should probably hold hands,” Kara suddenly whispers and it jolts the living shit out of Lena. She tries her best to play it cool, but her heart is doing splits and backflips in her chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon Lena. We’ve been fake dating for weeks now. We should probably be a little more touchy, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena swallows the lump in her throat. “The contract explicitly says no PDA.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do recall you saying that holding hands is tolerable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena rolls her eyes. “Must we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara winks. “We must.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde girl slides her hand down Lena’s arm and links their fingers together. Lena curses herself, curses at her heart for stumbling on itself when Kara’s hand connects with her own. It’s a different kind of touch, Lena knows it, because this time she’s completely aware of her growing attraction towards Kara, and it’s sending her into an internal spiral. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tries not to pay any attention to how it feels, but then Kara’s hand is suddenly clutching her tighter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Lena asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know that guy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena looks at the boy leaning on the lockers. Is Kara glaring at him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s Morgan Edge.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like the way that he’s looking at you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena’s breath hitches. “Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. It doesn’t sit right with me. Do you share a class with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Kara says a little too firmly, and what for exactly? Lena doesn’t know. She’s not even going to think about the implications of that statement. Of that one simple word that feels like a blanket wrapped around her. Making her safe and warm and -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God. This is only going to get more difficult, isn’t it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s lunchtime at the cafeteria when Lena sees Kara again. Their eyes connect and Kara breaks out into a massive grin. She waves her hand at Lena, who in turn rolls her eyes. Kara sticks out her tongue. It’s childish and Lena shouldn’t be endeared by it but she is. God, she’s supposed to be angry at the other girl for making her feel things. She shouldn’t be entertaining them. She shouldn’t be sticking her tongue out as well but she does so anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s refreshing to see you like this,” Andrea suddenly says beside her. Her friend is smiling, looking at her with crystal blue eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look happy, Lena.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sam agrees, a matching smile on her face. “Andrea and I… We were a little skeptical at first. You never told us anything about seeing Kara, but then again you’ve always been a little secretive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well, it just happened,” Lena tries to explain, but a hand reaches out to touch hers and then she’s met with Sam’s understanding eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to tell us if you’re not ready. It’s new and it’s fresh and we understand if you want to keep it to yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not on board with that,” Andrea chuckles, “but hey, I like seeing you this happy too. You deserve it, Lena.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena’s throat constricts at her friends’ genuine expressions. She doesn’t mind keeping this from them. Keeping the truth about her and Kara. They’d understand the need for secrecy. But seeing them like this, sincere about her happiness when deep inside she’s actually losing her mind… It’s a little heartbreaking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe she should tell them. Yes, it’s against their contract but Kara doesn’t have to know, does she? But then again she’s always been the suffer in silence kind of girl. And besides, she’s a tough cookie. She can handle this on her own. She doesn’t need to drag her friends into her mess. Lena sighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, guys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They silently eat their lunches after that conversation, content with each other’s presence, until a shadow looms over them and a whiff of powdery scent that Lena’s come to associate with only one person. She looks up to find Kara beaming down at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena blinks. “Oh, hey. What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara scratches the back of her neck. “Uh, can I borrow you for a while? I just need to talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena excuses herself from the table and follows Kara to a corner. The people around them eye them curiously. Kara lowers her voice when she speaks again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, so… James’ birthday is this weekend, and I kinda promised everyone that I would be there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean that I would be there… With you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That throws Lena in for a loop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I’m sorry. I know that I should’ve asked you first, but James expects me to be there and Cat’s gonna be there too so,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena blinks again. The last phrase reverberates inside of her mind like a broken record. Apparently, Kara's already forgotten about Cat's indifference at the basketball game, and now she's back to wanting to pursue her. Of course. Lena should have known. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She clears her throat, puts on a mask that means business. “There’s no need to apologize, Kara. It’s in the contract anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She notices the little crease in between Kara’s brows when she responds. “Right. The contract.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll tell my mother about it. I’m sure that she’ll approve.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Kara says, but there’s a difference in her voice now, a shift in her expression far from how she was just a few minutes ago when she and Lena were making silly faces at each other from across the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena doesn’t dwell on it. She can’t, so she just forces a smile and hopes that Kara will take it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s back in her room that afternoon. Kara has basketball practice so Lena had opted to carpool with Sam and Andrea. She could have texted Lex to pick her up, but she still isn’t talking to him after what he did the night before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s trying her best to focus on her essay, an assignment due the week after, but her brain isn’t cooperating. Keeps conjuring images of Kara in a suit and Kara in a dress and Kara in her jersey. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s annoying and utterly inconvenient but she can’t push the thought away. Lena groans. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She thinks back to their conversation at lunch, when Kara had invited her to James’ birthday party. A wave of jealousy rises within her when she recalls Kara’s reason for extending the invitation. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cat’s gonna be there, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kara had said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It twists her heart and makes her sigh out loud. She shouldn’t be feeling this way. She shouldn’t be jealous. No. She should be rejoicing. That’s it. The sooner that Kara is back in Cat’s arms, the sooner that Lena would have no choice but to quash her feelings for the other girl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s going to break her heart, sure. But that’s better than getting rejected. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>New plan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s going to work harder to make Cat jealous. No more reservations about this deal with Kara. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is a business transaction, she reminds herself for the nth time. Kara came to her so she could get Cat back, and Lena is nothing if not professional. She’s going to set her emotions aside and help Kara get the girl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Purpose for breaking her heart: she’s going to continue getting the freedom that she wants from her mother. And… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena closes her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s going to see Kara be happy with the person that she truly wants. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Let’s be real, Lena tells herself, nothing’s going to happen between her and Kara. It’s obvious that Kara wants Cat and only Cat, so Lena won’t delude herself into thinking that she has a chance. She’s only going to break her heart even more. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry i caught the writer's block virus hence the short update</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What are you doing?” </p><p>“Holding your hand,” Lena hisses.</p><p>“I know that, but why?” </p><p>“Cat is looking.”</p><p>Kara slyly turns her head and out of the corner of her eye, sees the older blonde staring at her interlocked fingers with Lena’s. She smirks when she notices the twitch in Cat’s upper lip.</p><p>“Good call,” she says, and Lena ignores the pang in her chest. This is her plan, she reminds herself. She’s going to see it through. </p><p>They’re entering the hallway when Lena speaks again. </p><p>“You know, I was thinking. We’ve been doing the bare minimum for weeks now and it hasn’t been working that well. Perhaps we should try a different strategy?”</p><p>Kara looks a little bewildered. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Maybe you were right yesterday, when you said that we should be a little more affectionate.” </p><p>Lena knows that she’s being a bit aggressive, but she’s right in that regard. They’ve been pretending to be dating for weeks now, but Cat hasn’t shown anything other than barely repressed irritation. She has to feel more than that for their plan to work. For Lena to finally rid herself of her damn feelings for Kara.</p><p>Lena watches as Kara narrows her eyes, wariness painted across her face. “Who are you and what have you done to the real Lena?”</p><p>Lena rolls her eyes, quells the fondness rising within her chest for the idiot in front of her. “Very funny, Kara, but seriously. If you want Cat to really be jealous then we have to step up our game. She has to be enraged at how disgustingly public we are with our affections for one another.”</p><p>“And how do you suppose we do that? Should we make out in front of everyone?”</p><p>Lena blinks, her heart slowing down before violently pounding in her chest like a sledgehammer to a wall. She forgets how to breathe in that moment. Forgets her own name. Forgets every single memory from childhood at the thought of Kara’s lips pressed against her own. </p><p>No. Be strong, Lena, she tells herself. She can’t get sidetracked. </p><p>“No, Kara, that’s disgusting. And besides, that’s against the contract,” Lena scoffs, hopes that it’s believable enough.</p><p>Thankfully, Kara rolls her eyes, obviously taking offense. “I have very soft lips, for your information.”</p><p>An information that Lena decides to save for her dreams. </p><p>“We’re digressing, Kara.”</p><p>“Fine, okay. Hmmm. What if we do things that Cat and I used to do? That’ll get a rise out of her.”</p><p>Lena shakes her head, a smirk blooming on her face. “Or better yet, we should do the things that you and Cat never did.”</p><p>It’s a great plan. It is. Lena just...didn’t think that Kara wanted to do so many things with Cat but hadn’t been given the chance. She has a list for Christ’s sake, one of the items being eating lunch together at the cafeteria. Mundane, Lena thought.</p><p>“You and Cat never ate lunch together?” she asks, spearing a forkful of lettuce. She watches amused as Kara hurries to swallow the bite of peanut butter sandwich in her mouth. </p><p>They’re alone at the table, speaking softly to one another but with that same spark of teasing that they have for each other. It’s tender. Everyone can see that. Everyone including Sam and Andrea, and James, Winn, Lucy, and Alex. </p><p>“We used to, but not as much as I wanted. She always insisted on eating with her posse.” Kara responds, face contorting when she says the last word. Lena raises a brow. </p><p>“Something wrong with Cat’s friends? Do you not like them?” </p><p>“It’s not that. It’s just that, I don’t know, she changes when she’s with them. She’s mean and she’s not like the Cat that I know.”</p><p>Lena nods her head, keeps quiet. She remembers times when Andrea and Sam bitch about the older blonde girl, how she terrorizes them whenever they practice. How difficult it is to please her sometimes. How she relishes being Queen Bee. </p><p>Kara doesn’t deserve someone who can be cruel. Lena’s brows furrow knowing that she can be cruel too. </p><p>Lena clears her throat. “So, what else is on your list?”</p><p>The grin on Kara’s face is massive. </p><p> </p><p>Lena has never skipped school. Never. Until now.</p><p>The arcade is almost empty this time of the day since most of its patrons are still in school. The only kids in the area are the ones who skipped just like them. </p><p>Lena watches as Kara excitedly bounces around the neon-lit place, her pockets jangling from the sheer amount of coins that she’d bought. </p><p>She looks so beautiful like this, Lena thinks. When there are crinkles on the corners of her eyes from smiling too widely. </p><p>“She never skipped school. Not once,” Kara says when they reach the game that she’s looking for. The machine reads Time Crisis 4. </p><p>“My mother is going to kill me when she finds out,” Lena mumbles. </p><p>“Relax. She’s not going to find out,” Kara grins. “Play with me?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Come on. Play with me. Cat never did. She used to just sit on a stool and wait until I finished playing.”</p><p>“Well why can’t I do that? No one here knows us, Kara. So who’s to find out if I played or if I didn’t? And how is Cat going to know that we skipped anyway?”</p><p>Kara rolls her eyes. “We have class together right now, and you have History with one of her friends. Believe me she’s going to find out. And if you’re worried about our audience, that’s what Instagram is for.”</p><p>“You skipped the part where I asked why it’s necessary for me to play with you.”</p><p>Kara pokes her. “Because it’ll be fun. Unless you’re scared that I might beat you at every game here.”</p><p>There’s a challenging look in her eyes, bright and so unbridled that Lena’s heart just can’t help but stumble on itself. </p><p>“Come on, Lena. Are you going to prove me wrong?”</p><p>Lena bites her lower lip. She’s here anyway. She might as well just fully indulge Kara. “You know what? You’re going to be crying once we’re done here.”</p><p>Kara laughs. “Game on.”</p><p>They play the whole afternoon, skipping 3 classes in total. </p><p>They circle the whole arcade, playing Time Crisis 4 and basketball and Dance Dance Revolution. They play table hockey and coin pusher and whack-a-mole. And then when they finally used up all of their coins, Kara takes Lena by the hand and drags her towards the photo booth.</p><p>Lena is spent when they exit the booth, laughing at the wacky faces that she and Kara made on the picture. </p><p>“Here, let’s split it,” Kara says, neatly cutting the four-photo strip so she and Lena could have two each. </p><p>“Thank you,” Lena says. </p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“For this. I didn’t think that I was going to have so much fun when you told me we were cutting classes.”</p><p>Kara grins. “It’s not over yet.”</p><p>“It’s not?”</p><p>“No. Just wait there.”</p><p>Lena watches as Kara disappears, reappearing after a few minutes with a medium sized yellow teddy bear. </p><p>“Where did you get that?” Lena asks. </p><p>“I bought it with the tickets that we won from the games that we played,” Kara responds, stretching out her hand to give the bear to Lena. “This is for you.”</p><p>“Oh. Uh, thank you.”</p><p>“So you’ll always remember today.”</p><p>Lena gulps. She’s never going to forget even if she tries. </p><p> </p><p>Lena is on her bed when her phone dings. An instagram notification from “kdanvers”. </p><p>She taps the banner on her phone, redirecting her to the picture that she’s tagged on. </p><p>Her breath catches in her throat. </p><p>It’s a picture of her smiling broadly, her hands raised above her head in a celebratory gesture. Behind her is the coin pusher machine spouting out strips upon strips of tickets. </p><p>The caption below the picture reads, “Best day with the best girl.” </p><p>Lena bites her bottom lip. She didn't even realize that Kara took a photo of her. </p><p>Her heart starts spinning wildly in her chest. Best girl. Best girl. Best girl.</p><p>She knows that it’s all a lie. They’re still playing their game. Of course they are. Kara’s post doesn’t mean anything, doesn’t hold any truth, and it hurts Lena’s heart because it’s half true <em> for her. </em> </p><p>It had been the best day. </p><p>Sighing, Lena double taps on the picture. And then she decides to post her own photo. </p><p>It’s her plan, she reminds herself. She’s going to see it through. She’s going to do everything in her power to piss Cat off. </p><p>She takes her picture with Kara from her vanity and arranges it on the bed so that it’s leaning against her yellow teddy bear. She snaps a picture. </p><p>Posting it on the same site, Lena adds the caption: “I won’t forget today.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>kara's pov next chapter. also, i'm doing a lilliza smau on twitter if anyone's interested</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it's been a minute</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kara grins when she sees the notification pop up on her phone. Her smile instantly widens when she taps on the banner and sees the caption below the instagram photo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t forget today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Honestly, Kara won’t be able to either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That afternoon has been the most fun that she’s had ever since Cat broke up with her. In fact, Kara thinks that that had been the only time that she wasn’t thinking of her ex. It was all Lena and the way that she’d jumped up and down like a child when she won at the coin machine. Lena and the scrunch on her nose whenever she got killed off in Time Crisis 4. Lena and her laughter as she tried to keep up with Kara at Dance Dance Revolution. Lena and her tongue poking out in concentration as she played the whack-a-mole. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had all been Lena. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara smiles fondly at the memory until something starts churning in her stomach, like there’s a growing tornado inside of her, uprooting all of her organs. She puts a hand on the space between her chest and upper abdomen, as if willing herself not to throw up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sensation reminds her of that night at the theatre. That swooping feeling when she saw Lena in her green suit. But it’s also different somehow. More violent. More urgent in a sense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara shakes her head, thinks that whatever it is that she’s feeling might just be because of something that she ate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s about to turn her lights off when someone starts knocking on her door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kara?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come in,” she calls out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door swings open and in comes Alex in her pajamas. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Had a bad dream?” Kara teases and Alex rolls her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you idiot. I just wanted to ask about your day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alex shrugs, closing the door behind her and walking over to Kara’s bed. She sits on the edge. “I saw your instagram post. James mentioned that you were missing the entire afternoon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah. I took Lena to the arcade.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alex nods. “I know. I guess I just wanted to tell you that I’m glad. I don’t know for sure about what’s going between you and Lena, and again, you don’t have to tell me anything. Whatever it is, I’m just happy that you’re happy. I haven’t seen you smile like this in awhile. You just seem, I don’t know, lighter these days. More hopeful. It’s nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The churning sensation inside of Kara becomes more pronounced. Kara bites down on her lower lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Alex asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah, I’m good,” she replies and Alex takes it. She watches as her older sister stands up from the edge of the bed and walks over to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good night,” Alex calls over her shoulder before exiting the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara blinks once. Twice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What the hell is going on?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The question is seemingly forgotten until it’s finally the weekend and Kara is, once again, forced to face its nagging as she watches Lena walk gracefully down the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d seen her earlier at school but she had dropped her off at their house to change for James’ party, and now, well… Lena is wearing a rather tight green shirt under a leather jacket and a pair of black jeans that are hugging her hips and legs in the most eye-catching way. It isn’t anything that Kara hasn’t seen before. Lena has worn outfits like this to school, but something has changed somehow. Lena’s become more magnetic. That or Kara’s simply starting to pay more attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You already know her curfew,” Lilian reminds from somewhere in the room and only then does Kara remember how to use her mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, ma’am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then they’re going, walking side by side towards Kara’s car and driving off to James’ house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The party is already in full swing when they arrive. There are students littered everywhere, from the front porch to the backyard. Almost everyone has a red cup in hand. The only ones who don’t are the ones dancing to Drake in the living room. It’s utter chaos, but everyone seems to be having fun. Kara turns her head to look at Lena, takes stock of her barely hidden discomfort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay? It’s not too noisy for you, is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not my first party, Kara,” Lena replies with a fond roll of her eyes, but it’s swallowed by the music and Kara doesn’t hear it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a mistake to ask because then Lena has to move closer, has to put her mouth right by Kara’s ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The proximity is intoxicating. Kara gets a whiff of Lena’s perfume, a mixture of aloe vera and green tea, and the churning in her stomach comes back with such intense ferocity that Kara has to close her eyes and bite the inside of her cheek. The hairs on the back of her neck stand up when Lena speaks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said this isn’t my first party,” Lena says, pulling away to look at Kara’s face and for the first time, Kara feels the strong urge to look down. She gulps. Lena’s lips are red and full and plump and —, “Kara?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara blinks, remembers where she is. She clears her throat. “Right, yeah, I knew that. Um, anyway, we should go find James.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara takes Lena’s hand and leads her to the backyard, ignores the light jolt from their interlocked fingers. They find him playing beer pong with Lucy and Winn. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Kara, you made it,” he says, wrapping his arms around the blonde girl when she comes to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I’d be here. Happy birthday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” he replies before his eyes land on Lena awkwardly standing in front of them. “Oh hey, Lena, thanks for coming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for having me. Happy birthday,” she says and Kara wonders if Lena feels out of place. She knows that Lena doesn’t really like parties despite the fact that this isn’t her first one. It’s in the stiffness of her shoulder, in the way she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James must have noticed the same because he gestures to the table and says, “Do you want to play?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara half expects Lena to decline but the other girl says yes and the rest of the evening becomes a supercut of her growing laughter, shoulders getting looser and her expressions turning more unbridled as Lucy and Winn consecutively lose the game. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s half past eight when Lucy decides that it’s time for a game of spin the bottle, and everyone in the basement forms a circle on the floor. Kara is already seated on the carpet, Lena on the couch behind her. She turns her head when Lucy makes the announcement, eyes the brunette warily. They’ve had a good time so far, and Lena is getting along well with her friends. She doesn’t want anything to ruin that. Certainly not a stupid drinking game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Certainly not when she’s a little tipsy and Lena’s lips are becoming more and more inviting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara clears her throat, offers, “Do you wanna go up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, let’s stay. You can join your friends. I don’t think they’ll force me to join if I say that I don’t want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara lowers her voice, enough for only Lena to catch. “And I don’t think my fake girlfriend should be okay with seeing me kiss other people.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A fond eye roll, one that makes Kara’s stomach churn for the nth time that night. “They’re your friends. It’s not like you’re going to shove your tongues down each other’s throats.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a cheeky reply, one that Kara had expected. What she hadn’t expected, though, was looking up to see two figures walking down the steps to the basement. Her lips downturn, her entire body instantly going rigid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Cat and her friend, Eve, ambling down the steps and joining the circle on the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are we playing?” Eve asks, and poor, innocent Winn, who’s had a crush on her since grade school, dumbly answers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spin the bottle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara groans because </span>
  <em>
    <span>dumbass, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Winn could’ve said anything else. He could’ve said truth or truth or UNO for fucksake, no matter how unbelievable that would’ve sounded. But no, he had to say spin the bottle when she’s already on the circle and Cat is sitting right across from her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older girl’s eyes meet hers and Kara’s not sure if she’s imagining it, but there’s a hand that’s suddenly gripping onto her shoulder. Gripping so tightly she thinks they’re going to leave dents, or maybe just finger shaped bruises.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then it’s gone. The gripping sensation on her shoulder. Replaced with the lack of warmth when Lena pulls her hand away to cross her arms above her chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tension is thick in the room, but no one else seems to notice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not until they’re playing the game and it’s Cat’s turn and the bottle points directly at Kara. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>belated happy valentines! here's my gift</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lena is going to scream bloody murder. Fucking <em> fuck </em>fuck. </p><p>She was having a good time, despite the fact that she had never hung out with Kara’s friends before. Despite the fact that she would’ve never been here, wouldn’t have ever thought of attending James Olsen’s party if it wasn’t for Kara asking her. They’re just not in the same circle, she remembers telling herself before, back when their circles didn’t meet in the middle in the form of a lovable blonde dolt. But she’s here now, and she’s having a nice time. They’re actually pretty fun to be around, Kara’s friends. They’re easy to be with, goofballs much like Kara, who has been steadily growing on her —the girl has fully bloomed inside her heart but there’s no need for that reminder. </p><p>The point is she <em> was </em>having a good time. And then Cat fucking Grant had to show up and ruin the moment. </p><p>She had been sitting on the couch in James’ basement, toying with the strands of Kara’s hair as Kara sat on the floor talking about basketball (of course) with one of her teammates when Lucy announced that it was time for “spin the bottle”. Kara had turned around to ask her if she wanted to leave and stupid ol’ her said no. She highly regrets that now, because then Cat had waltzed down the room and plopped her skinny ass down the floor. On the circle that Kara’s already a part of. The circle for the stupid game. The game where people kiss each other. </p><p>God fucking dammit. </p><p>It's reflex that makes her claw at Kara’s shoulder, reflex that makes her hold on to the blonde girl even though they’re not actually together. </p><p>Fuck, Lena thinks when she recoils. She’s not supposed to act jealous. She’s supposed to be relieved that Cat is here. She’s supposed to be pleased that Cat is joining the stupid game and that she and Kara might kiss and make amends. </p><p>She is supposed to be fucking delighted but god, all she wants to do is drag Kara out of the room and call their game bullshit. </p><p>There’s a growing blackhole in the pit of her stomach that’s threatening to swallow her. She just wants to disappear, doesn’t want to even imagine Kara and Cat kissing in front of her because it would break her. God, how did she get this far gone? But then they’re playing and suddenly it’s Cat’s turn and of fucking course her bottle lands squarely on Kara. </p><p>Fuck.</p><p>“I, uh,” Lena hears Kara start. Everyone is looking at them now, eyes shifting from her to Kara to Cat’s smug expression. The older girl rises from her position on the floor, makes her way over to Kara. </p><p>“Will this be okay?” Cat asks when she’s standing right in front of them, and Lena realizes that the question is directed at her. “I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes here.”</p><p>The insincerity is as clear as day. Lena can see the evident mischief in Cat’s eyes, knows full well that Cat is enjoying this. </p><p>Lena is about to tell her no. She is about to tell Cat to fuck off and kiss someone else. Anyone else. But this is what she wanted, isn’t it? The sooner that Cat and Kara get back together, the sooner that she can rid herself of this. It’s going to hurt. It’s going to break her, but it’s better than prolonging her suffering. She can’t be in agony forever. </p><p>Lena opens her mouth to speak, ready to say ‘whatever’ when Kara beats her to it. </p><p>“Yeah, Cat, it’s just a game. Lena and I trust each other,” Kara says, in a breathless way that seems to mean she’s excited for this, that she wants it to happen, wants to kiss Cat because of course she does. They’re at the party for Cat. The whole point of this charade is for Cat. Everything that Kara’s doing with her is for Cat. </p><p>“Good,” Cat says, lowering herself until she’s facing Kara. Lena watches as her dainty fingers rest on Kara’s jaw, as Cat pulls Kara in and the younger girl just lets her. They kiss right there, in front of her, and <em> fuck </em>Lena’s heart shatters into a million little pieces. </p><p> </p><p>Lena wants to go on a bender. </p><p>She doesn’t really do it, but she wants to. </p><p>It’s a party. She’s allowed to let loose, right? Whatever. She sticks with Kara until she can manage, just long enough for her departure from the basement to not look suspicious. She’s always been good at suffering in silence, at schooling her expression as if she doesn’t give a flying fuck. That’s exactly how she looked like when Cat ambled back to her place in the circle and Kara had turned around to look at her. Lena had looked back with indifference. </p><p>She’s going to congratulate Kara later if that’s what the blonde girl wanted. </p><p>The moment that she leaves the basement she goes straight to the kitchen. She takes two bottles of whiskey from the counter and hides in James’ backyard. There’s an empty treehouse that looks perfect for brooding, so she climbs up the wooden ladder and sulks away. </p><p>She doesn’t know how long she’s been in there, but Kara finds her sooner than she would have liked. She’s already tipsy by then, her tongue loose and her inhibitions lowered, but she understands the blonde girl perfectly when she says that it’s time for her to go home. </p><p>Lena takes her phone from her jacket pocket. It’s almost ten o’clock. </p><p>Lena lets Kara hoist her up, let’s Kara help her down the treehouse. </p><p>She lets the blonde girl touch her back, doesn’t recoil when Kara slides a hand on her waist. Lena leans in to her, even. She relishes in the touch. </p><p>It’s going to be for the last time anyway. She needs to let her go.</p><p>They’re quiet when they get into the car. Even quieter on the drive back to Lena’s place. The streetlights flash before Lena’s eyes, trees blurring as they weave through the quiet road. Lena blinks, once, twice, and then they’re coming to a stop. They’re right in front of the mansion and Kara’s unbuckling her seatbelt to turn to face her. </p><p>“Are you okay? Your mom’s not going to get mad at you for drinking, right?”</p><p>“It’s fine, Kara. I can hold my alcohol.” </p><p>Kara looks at her, and Lena wishes she could read her mind. She looks… apologetic. Regretful? Lena doesn’t know. “Hey, about earlier?”</p><p>She fakes a smile. “Oh, you mean the game? Congratulations on kissing Cat.” </p><p>There’s a pained look on Kara’s face at Lena’s response, but Lena knows that it’s just her mind playing tricks on her. </p><p>“Lena.”</p><p>“We should stop this,” Lena says, trying her best to sound serious despite her current condition.</p><p>“Wait, what?”</p><p>“You and Cat kissed, right? That should be enough.”</p><p>Kara sighs. “Yeah, she, uh, she said we should talk on Monday. I think she wants to get back together.”</p><p>Lena feels her heart drop. God, wasn’t this her plan all along? </p><p>She forces a smile, pushes through despite the stabbing pain in her chest. “That’s great, Kara. Our plan worked.”</p><p>“Yeah it did.”</p><p>“So um, you really think we should stop this?” Kara asks, and Lena feels her eyes begin to sting. Why the fuck does she feel like crying? What right does she have to get hurt? This was the plan. This was the end goal. </p><p>“Yes, Kara. I think we should. It’s best that you focus on Cat after your kiss so she knows you’re determined to get back together.”</p><p>“But what about you?”</p><p>God, what about her? Lena knew what she was getting into. She just... didn’t expect to have fallen for Kara as hard as she has. </p><p>“What about me?”</p><p>“Your mom. You didn’t really get much out of the deal.” </p><p>“It’s okay, Kara. Don’t worry about me.”</p><p>Lena gives her one last look, memorizes all the details of the other girl’s face. Her eyes, her nose, her lips. The scar above her eyebrow. The golden hair. Fuck, she doesn’t want to say it but she’s going to miss her. </p><p>“Good night, Kara.”</p><p>She turns to open the door, is about to step out when Kara grabs her wrist. </p><p>“W-what?”</p><p>But the words die on her throat when Kara pulls her and takes her face with both hands. Their lips connect in a soft but firm kiss and Lena finds herself getting lost in that gentle press. Kara’s mouth is <em> so </em>soft. She closes her eyes, doesn’t realize her hand is gripping the sleeve of Kara’s shirt. And then she remembers where she is and who she’s kissing and how just earlier Kara’s lips were connected to Cat’s. </p><p>As much as she wants this, she also doesn’t understand what’s going on. Lena pulls back. </p><p>“Kara?” </p><p>Kara’s eyes are wide, her expression a mixture of surprise and something else. But then her lips are tugging down and Lena just knows what she’s going to say next. She knows that Kara is going to say the kiss was a mistake, that she’s drunk and she didn’t know what happened. </p><p>Lena doesn’t need another nail on the coffin. </p><p>“Lena -,”</p><p>“Don’t,” she says, willing the tears not to fall down her cheeks. She steps out of the car and runs to the mansion. </p><p> </p><p>Lena can vividly remember the first time that she cried herself to sleep. It was years ago, when she discovered that she wasn’t Lillian’s daughter. That she was Lionel’s child from an affair. She’d locked herself in her room and burrowed herself in her bed. That was the first time. That was the only time, actually, because no matter how bad things got with Lillian Lena knew that crying for her wasn’t going to be worth it. Her mother wasn’t going to change. She was always going to be strict and cold and uncaring. She got used to it, and getting used to things, well… That’s the problem. </p><p>Lena had gotten used to Kara. Despite their fake relationship only covering a few weeks. She’d gotten used to the jokes and the smiles and the dates. She’d gotten used to hearing Kara sing while she’s driving, to watching her play basketball with her friends. She’d gotten used to having Kara around —and now she has to let Kara go. </p><p>Lena sniffs, doesn’t bother wiping away the tears falling from her eyes to her pillow. </p><p>She doesn’t know what to do or what to feel. All she knows is there’s a gaping hole in her chest because she’s fallen in love with Kara and Kara had kissed her. But Kara had kissed Cat too, and now they’re going to get back together and Lena’s going to be left alone like she always has been. </p><p>God, why did Kara kiss her? Why did she do it? What? To show Lena what she was missing? Was it a goodbye? A thank you? Lena wants to call her and ask because she hates not knowing. Hates not knowing what Kara actually thinks of her. Hates not knowing why Kara thought it was a good idea to kiss her after she said they should end their fake relationship. </p><p>She snuffles. No one can answer her questions but Kara. </p>
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